ALL THE WRONG REASONS
by Barabbus
Summary: The Dark Lord falls again, only to meet his friends and enemies, who are waiting for answers. Will he justify his actions? Will anything change? And will the Dark Lord be redeemed? PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Prelogue

**SUMMARY: This takes place after Deathly Hallows, when Voldemort enters the land of the dead for the second time. Voldemort meets... someone... and they talk about things. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All of the quotes I use from the books and the characters and everything, they're all J. K. Rowling's.**

_"But you're too late," said Harry. "You've missed your chance. I got there first. I overpowered Draco weeks ago. I took this wand from him."_

_"So it all comes down to this, doesn't it?" whispered Harry. "Does the wand in your hand know its last master was disarmed? Because if it does... I am the true master of the Elder Wand."_

_"Avada Kedavra!"_

_"Expelliarmus!"_

I expected nothing more than a disarming charm, but instead two jets of light, red and green, spiralled toward me, and before I could even react I felt the impact as they hit me in the chest, knocking me to the ground. I felt no pain, only defeat and anger, anger toward myself for being so very foolish.

My life did not flash before my eyes, but everything I had left rushed before my in a blurry mass. I saw people all around me, people from the Order and my own people, reacting in every way imaginable, eyes widening in fear, delight or shock. I saw everything, and then... nothingness.

The light returned in a moment, but it was unlike any other thing I'd seen in my time. Death is an odd thing, I suppose. I shuddered at the word. Death! As if I needed that! I never so much as drempt of death, and in one day- the day that I was so certain would be my day of final victory- it was swept upon me before I could even have a second thought.

Alone. Now I was alone.

And there was nothing I could do to change anything.

"Tom," called a calm voice, more terribly collected than any other voice I'd heard. I recognised that voice immediately. Perhaps I was in hell.

Before me stood an elderly man, much taller than I, his auburn hair sparking in whatever the light was. The face was much younger, much less weathered than I'd last seen it, but one detail was exactly the same, as they'd always been.

Albus Dumbledore's eyes were as blue as a summer sky, and they twinkled like crystals in the sunlight. Humor glistened deep within them, but there was ancient wisdom, wisdom no other person could even hope to attain. He'd always been a barrier for me, keeping me from being everything I wanted to be. Yet I addressed him cordially, as I had when we'd first met. "Dumbledore."

"Tom. I see you've decided to join me."

"This wasn't my choice."

"Yes it was, Tom. Every part of this was your choice. You choose your destiny." There it was, the preaching ways that made me loathe him so.

"My destiny was taken from me, Dumbledore, taken by some _mudblood!"_

I hadn't dared to admit that before, that my father had been filth. That would have made me filth, and I was anything but filth.

"Our choices are our own, Tom, as I've told you since we first met. But that is neither here nor there. I came to tell you that there is someone who wants to know why you did this."

"Oh? And who might that be?"

He smiled the warm smile that I knew so well, the smile that I had wanted to rip off of his face every time I'd seen it. "Turn around."

What I saw shocked me more than anything else. I had never been able to rest my eyes upon the fragile being, but I could tell by her attitude, her eyes, exactly who I was gaping at.

"MEROPE GAUNT?!"


	2. In the Beginning

I nearly fainted at the sight of her. Such a reunion seemed impossible even in such place such as this one. She resembled me in no way; her hair was stringy and dull, impossibly thin, her dark eyes slightly crossed even as they were glued on me. Her skin, like my own, was impossibly pale, but her face had none of the beauty mine now had. I looked like the young Tom Riddle, and she... she was the most ragged person I'd seen in quite some time.

It was impossible to believe. Before me were two people, the people who'd created me and at the same time destroyed me, one amused and the other- baffled? I most certainly was. I had so many things to say, yet I could not find the words nor the emotions to express myself. She spoke, however.

"Tom," she whispered, not capable of a higher volume. I flinched at the sound of the name. "You look just like your father..."

I nearly lunged her despite who she was. How dare she mention that filth to me? Did she not know what I'd done, what I _was?_ My blame immediately fell on Dumbledore; could the old fool not tell her himself, rather than putting me through such a thing?

"Do I? I do not know where to begin, so let's start at the beginning. Why did you do it?" I couldn't help but notice the lack of control in my voice, but it did not matter to me. Telling her the truth would not bother me at all.

"Do what, Tom?"

"Choose whichever act came first and tell me. In due time I shall tell you my own tale, but first... I must know this. It's so crucial to my own tale, you see."

I couldn't help but smile despite myself, to let my maimed soul take delight in my inside joke. My twisted smile made her edge away from me, but her eyes still had the same shine.

"I'll start at Tom Riddle then, since he was so important. I'd lived my family for my entire life, Tom, and they took pride in our heritage. They hated anything that wasn't pure, and my views were different than theirs; we're all people after all, and who can control their heritage. They hated me for my views. I was to do the housework for them, so it was only a matter of time before I saw _him._

"I was working in the garden when I first saw his face, and at first I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. He was gorgeous, with that beautiful black hair, that pale, perfect face, those dark eyes, those fancy clothes... riding on his chestnut horse, like my knight in shining armour. I was already in love with him, but of course Father would have never allowed it. Besides, the Gaunts were thought of as trash, and the Riddles were the wealthiest family in town.

"I had to have him, though, that much I knew. I watched him ride by everyday, sometimes seeing his women with him, wishing that Morfin would find them one day...

"So one day I got him. It was a hot summer's day, and I saw him riding by, alone. So I offered him a drink. He fell in love with me as soon as he drank it. We were married, and I couldn't believe how happy I was. I realised that I was having a child, and nothing topped that feeling.

"I didn't think. I forgot to give him the potion, and he left me. I didn't want to live, I didn't want to do anything, not without my Tom. I didn't even try to live. I gave up all hope. And the night of New Year's Eve, I gave birth to you, and I saw him in your face, and I immediately regretted my loss of life. But by then it was too late. That's all there is, Tom. Now what became of you?"

I rolled my eyes at the woman. What did she expect, a reprieve. "Lord Voldemort does not offer reprieves," I murmured without realising.

"What are you talking about, Tom?"

"Do not... CALL ME TOM! I AM LORD VOLDEMORT, THE MOST POWERFUL DARK WIZARD THAT EVER LIVED! How dare you give up that easily? How dare you name me after such filth, to even associate me with such vermin? You want the truth? You shall have it!"

"Please proceed, then," Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"Yes, please do," Merope weakly agreed.


	3. Yew and Phoenix

"I hope this isn't too much for you," I began.

"I can handle it," she assured me.

"If you're sure... This all began in that bloody orphanage where you left me. I aged along with the other children, but I never quite fit in. I didn't want to. All I wanted was to hurt them. They so annoyed me, and I found that I could make them scream if I so desired, could make them scream and writhe and beg for mercy... But the adults never discovered me. I was far to clever to be caught by mere Mudbloods.

"Life there was quite interesting since I always got what I wanted, but something was missing, and my... talent... was unexplained. Was there something wrong with me? Was I better than them? Was there a reason why I so desired their suffering? Did it matter?

"I was actually pondering those points when Dumbledore came to me. I was stunned when the secretary said I had a visitor- who would possibly know me? I thought perhaps my mother or father, the two who'd had absolutely no desire to have me before, coming to take me away... but I could tell that he was no direct relative of mine. His hair was too light, his eyes too kind, the features too knowing to be the predecessor of my own. Something was going to change, though, that I knew.

"He was too polite when he came in, too calm even when he told me that I was a wizard. At first I could not believe it- I, a wizard?- but then he showed me; he burnt a wardrobe. Then it all made sense: the powers nobody had, the reason why something was missing. He told me of a school for wizards, the best school there was. But one of my gifts, he said, was exceptionally rare. Care to guess at what that was?"

Her eyes narrowed, then widened in panic and realisation. "Parseltongue?" she whispered.

"But of course. Dumbledore told me of the place that would sell me wizard supplies, and the barman named Tom... that one unhinged me quite easily. You see, I knew my father was called Tom, and I also knew that he'd never come to fetch me, even after the death of you, Merope. That small truth angered more than anything imaginable.

"That night I thought about everything. My father had been the wizard, of that I was completely positive. After all, how could a witch die? I was sure that you'd died in some attempt to worm information from him, and that he was some great dark wizard... Which excited me. The idea of a wand was the best of all. Imagine the things I could do, the name I could create for myself with such an instrument. I would be great, much greater than any relative of mine.

"You have to understand that I was overjoyed when I entered Diagon Ally. It was paradise to me, every part of it intriguing beyond measure. I felt so great in my new robes with a new owl, carrying spellbooks in my arms. Then I went into Ollivander's.

"He was eager to find me a wand. I asked him if he'd known my father, and he said he'd never seen a Tom Riddle. That seemed a bit odd, but what did it matter when I was about to get the ultimate tool? And so he gave it to me. Yew and phoenix feather, perfect for Defense Against the Dark Arts. I told him that it wasn't the defense I needed to learn.

"Naturally I was rather curious about the neighboring ally, which seemed just as interesting. There were a series of shops, all carrying dark items, items I needed. I found a few books and charms that brought ill will, but didn't stay for too long. The witches and wizards weren't too keen on having a child running into such shops, thought it would corrode me..." I laughed bitterly. "As if that had not already happened. And so I returned back to the orphanage with my haul.

"All night I read those books, and let me say, they told me about agony I had never so much as fathomed. That made me as curious as ever, so I tried some of them... Needless to say, they all were _very _effective. The next day I would catch the train and be sorted, thus finding my _true _family, my _true _destiny..."


	4. King's Cross

"I awoke earlier than you can imagine on that fateful day, if I slept at all. I left immediately and skidded through the dark London streets, following the route I knew so well, the route to King's Cross. I changed into my robes as soon as got there, not bothering to be inconspicuous.

"I picked an empty compartment, never feeling so alive as I felt then and there. It was a rebirth, an awaking, the first real highlight of my life. I needed no assistance, merely the knowledge to get me started. I needed no friends, only knowledge and power. Friends would bring me nothing but vulnerability, and that was anything but what I desired. I needed the solitude. Merope, your jaw is nearly touching the floor! What is wrong with you!"

She sighed, the alarm more apparent than ever in her lifeless eyes. "Forgive me, Tom, I just... I'm worried about you. You showed all the igns of being a serial killer, dear." The concern was still prominent. Why did she worry? T'was all over, nothing would change, so why did she care?

"Fascinating, Merope, dear," I mocked. "Shall I continue?"

"Oh yes! You must!"

"If you insist... I longed to be alone more than anythng else, but I got the opposite of that. Avery, Lestrange, Black and Greyback. They entered in unison. Lestrange was the first to speak.

"'Never seen you before,' he stated. 'What's your name?'

"'Tom Riddle.'

"'Your parentage?'

"I hesitated. 'Half-blood,' I finally declared. 'Is there a problem with that?'

"Greyback smiled. His glimmering teeth were larger than most people's, sharper, it seemed. 'You're cool with us, Tom, he said cooly, 'but we don't talk to Mudbloods.'

"'Nor do I. As if my lips would consort with such filth. Dumbledore said that we were equal when I saw him the second time, but... how could that be so?'"

"'It isn't, Tom, Dumbledore's a madman. Didn't your mum tell you that?'

"'No, but she couldn't, could she, being dead and everything...'" How calmly I spoke despite the anger that set me ablaze at the very mention of that terrible truth.

"'Oh... Sorry, mate. It's a shame, having so much pure blood wasted. Look at the Gaunt family. Old Marvolo fell apart when his daughter Merope eloped with that Mudblood...'

"I gasped aloud at the mention of the name. A pure man, a real wizard, a man who shared a name, yet I knew nothing of him. My mother had been a witch, but why had she chosen death over reality, over her son?

"'How pure was this Marvolo, exactly?'

"'Ha! He was a direct descendant of the great Slytherin himself!'

"My grandfather, an heir of a great man. How wonderful that was. That made my family great, made _me_ great. But yet Riddle, the filthy vermin who had destroyed my mother's pure blood, her pure breath, he desired me not! Oh, how it provoked me, howw it set me ablaze! It kept me awake at night...

"We eventually arrived at Hogwarts. It was everything you would expect a castle to be and more. I felt nothing but excitement and longing, and soon enough we were marched into a hall full of robed students sitting at four tables, with on table for adults. There was a mangled hat at the front of the room, and that would determine the destiny of us all. How profound that was to me.

"I sat and waited, watching the line separate.

_Avery, Cormac... Slytherin._

_Black, Orion... Slytherin._

_Bones, Jebadias... Hufflepuff._

_Greyback, Fenrir... Slytherin._

The list went on and on.

_Potter, Douglas... Gryffindor._

_Prince, Eileen... Slytherin._

_Riddle, Tom... Silence._

"I strolled up the row, trying not to act nearly as nervous as I was. Dumbledore's eyes were on me as if expecting an ultimatum, and everyone else seemed intrigued. The moment the hat brushed up against me, it bellowed the one word that would change my life forever, and would determine my death as well...

"'SLYTHERIN!!'

"Cheers erupted from one end of the room. My conpanians waved at me invitedly, and a walruslike man grinned at me... This was the one night that made all the difference, though it was one of the nights I least expected to make a difference. I was home, and for once, I belonged. That was enough to let me sleep soundly without the nighmares and visions of Tom Riddle and Merope Gaunt, my two creators and the people who had most destroyed me..."


	5. Hollow Victory

"You can imagine how pleasant my first night at the castle was. For once I felt like I belonged, and that feeling was entirely new to me. Every one of the Slytherins adored me, and the next morning was no different.

"I sat with Greyback, Yaxley, Black and Prince for breakfast, though many others surrounded us. They babbled on about so many pointless things, and it was so easy to act as if I were interested. Soon they passed out the schedules, and I noticed that I had potions first thing. I strutted back to the dungeons, confident as ever.

"Walrus-man was our teacher. Slughorn was his name. The potion we made was fairly simple, and he went on and on about how excellent I was doing, and gushed about my ancestors. It was sickening, but I could see that he would be of some use at some later time. He knew things, and that was my advantage more than even his.

"The next classes were the same, myself performing as well as I could, every teacher fawning over my brilliance. Handsome Tom, perfect Tom, clever Tom. They were wrapped around my finger. The whole school was controlled by me. Or so I thought.

"My last class was Transfiguration. I walked in to see a familiar face. Dumbledore was greeting everyone with a smile, and I more than expected him to be extra friendly to me. But he didn't. He said the same thing to me that he'd said to everyone else!

"That angered me. I was not ordinary. Tom Riddle was different, Tom Riddle deserved attention, yet Dumbledore's eyes passed over me as if I were invisible! The nerve of the fool!

"I tried everything! I answered every question, I did twelve times better than any student, I even tried to help everyone out, and still the man paid my special talents no notice! Oh, how it angered me!

"How could this be? He acted as if I were just another student, acted as if I were nobody! Could he see through my pretenses? I doubted it, but one did have to wonder. I was clever, but so was Dumbledore. My plan seemed to be ruined.

"After class he held me back. 'Tom,' he said, voice surprisingly gentle, 'is there something that is bothering you?'

"'Why is it that you treat my so poorly?' I demanded, angry.

"'I do not treat you poorly, Tom. I treat you like I treat all of my students.'

"'But I am not just another student! I'm different!'

"'You are,' he agreed. 'That is why I do not treat you differently. I fear for your future, Tom. Treating you in that way may give you powers that may, in fact, harm you.'

"'Tis your philosophy that harms me! You shall pay for this, just wait!'

"I ran out of the room, outraged. As if he knew what he was talking about. But I'll have to stop there, Merope, or I may get carried away. That always has deadly results..."


	6. interlogue

"How far are you into your story, Tom?" Dumbledore called.

"Not far at all. Why is it that you ask?"

He smiled. "Someone wants to talk to you."

"Oh, very _well._"

I recognized her almost the moment I saw her. Her hair was the most brilliant shade of red that blazed in the light, she had porcelain skin, and her eyes… They were the most dazzling shade of green, like oak trees in the summer, and they glinted like emeralds. They, too, were blazing. I had killed her, I realized. Harry Potter's mother.

"VOLDEMORT! How could you do this to the world, to my friends, to my husband? HOW COULD YOU DO THOSE THINGS TO MY ONLY SON? HAVE YOU NO SOUL?"

Merope's eyes were suddenly filled with life. "How dare you speak that way to my son? How dare you treat him as if he were filth?"

"Don't you interfere, woman! I want answers!"

"Get away from him, whelp!"

I sighed. "You two are so alike, yet you argue like enemies."

Dumbledore's eyes widened, and he grinned that way he always did when someone was about to learn something. "How familiar your situation, Tom."

I saw his point. Potter had been so like myself, yet I had been wasting my talents on thwarting him. While I'd been killing him, I'd been killing myself as well.

"Very well, Lily. Sit down, and brace yourself for a very long story…"


	7. The sink

"Where were we? Oh yes, bathroom incident. I think that's quite essential."

Lily- that's who she was- raised a wary eyebrow. "WHAT?"

I rolled my eyes. You could tell that she was a Mudblood just by the way she reacted. They were all the same: worthless. I despised them all.

"Shut up, you oaf! Tell your story, sweetheart."

I nearly gagged at Merope's affection. I simply wasn't used to it, and I could not tolerate that. "Yes, I know you love my villainy at such an early stage. Here we go. The day I found yet another secret. You'll love this, Merope, dear.

"My first year, as we've established, was the beginning of my plotting. Usually my Slytherin sidekicks would trail me everywhere; I was never alone. I so loved the solitude that I'd grown used to during my childhood, the attention began to agitate me. For once, in the middle of the night, I decided to wander alone.

"I heard an odd voice, silent, almost a whisper. It wasn't a whisper, though- it was a hiss. I followed my impulse, followed the voice, across the castle. It seemed to be pouring from the walls. And it was beckoning me, telling me to come and seek true fortune, true power.

"Any other man would have ran. But it promised power. I needed that more than anything, almost more than vengeance. I followed the noise.

"It led me to the girl's bathroom, one of the only places I hadn't considered exploring. It seeped from the floor. Led me to the sink. The words were louder, it seemed. '_Turn on the sinks.'_

"I did. Nothing was strange. Most of them even worked. But there was one exception. Naturally I found it strange; a magical sink that didn't work? The voice said, _'Tell it to open.'_

"I tried to demand it to open, even kicked a few times, but nothing happened. But then a slither came out of my throat, familiar but understandable, and it began to open.

"The sinks slid in every direction, revealing… a hole. I could not see the bottom, but I vowed that I would soon explore. I would tell no one, give no one my secrets, for only I was worthy. Only I could find the place. One day I would face the ultimate test of power- and reveal for the first time the monster who waited to burst within me. Be prepared."


	8. Ideas

"But what does a bathroom have to do with my son?" Lily screeched.

"Patience. I'm getting to that, if you would simply listen. Anything else?"

Merope grimaced. "Just ignore her. Go on."

"I intend to. The next few years were uneventful, really. I breezed through my classes, made as many good impressions as I could, explored the castle and did a bit of… research. I finally knew what I really wanted to do.

"Every Slytherin hated the Mudbloods, myself above all others. With my looks, my allure, my intelligence, surely I could stand against the ones I so loathed, the ones unworthy of existing. The ones like Tome Riddle.

"I would form a group of others who believed what I did, people who saw common sense. It would give me power, it would give me strength. It would give me vengeance. The man had destroyed my mother, my Pure mother. He had tainted my precious blood, my heritage. He had destroyed me. So I would destroy him, and all the others like him. They would all pay.

"There were a number of people I wanted, people who could aid me in my quest. They didn't know my reasons, of course, but intentions made no difference to them. They wanted death, and I wanted minions. So I called a meeting to recruit them.

"It was in the Room of Requirement, a place where nobody could find us. I was more confident than ever.

"'Hello everyone. We're here because I have something very important to discuss with you.'

"'What is it, Tom?' Greyback yawned, still ill from his curse.

"'We need to come together to eliminate the scum that pollutes our world, to wash way the filth. I'm speaking of reform. We need to get rid of the Mudbloods.'

"'As if a group of students could do such a thing.'

"I lowered my voice. 'I have a plan, a complex one. We can't lose. Besides, we're not just students. We're wizards, and damned good ones. If you plan to help me with this, join me every week in this room. Just be wary: Albus Dumbledore grows more suspicious by the minute. Now let's return to the common room. I have a bit of reading to do, reference material, confidential….'"


	9. The First Prince

"The light source was fading away, burning violet in the distance. The colour reminded me of the red gleam that had been in my eye, how close I'd come to having everything. It kept me thinking of how things could have been, would have been, different if that Riddle had taken care of his wife, his son.

"Often I sat under a tree and thought about them, how they may have acted. My mother, I decided, must have been a clever witch, charming and tactful like me. She probably was fooled by the devilish snake that was Tom Riddle, connived into thinking that she loved him. How could it have been any other way?

"'Hello Tom,' a soft voice said behind me. I turned to see Eileen Prince. I hardly ever had a chance to talk to her because of my plans. I'd forgotten just how persistent she'd been.

"'Hey Eileen. What are you doing this time?'

"'I needed to talk to you , Tom. I'm worried about you. All of these huge plans of yours, these ideas… is everything alright?'

"I sighed. 'It's the same as it's always been. Why, am I bothering you?'

"'No. It's not that, it's just… I don't know, I just don't want to see anything upset you. We're friends. You can count on me to do anything for you, Tom. You can tell me anything, and I'll always be there. Are we still friends?'

"I thought for a moment. 'Yes, we're friends.' She beamed at the words. I thought a moment about telling her everything, about revealing my soul, but then my yearn for power won over my teenage desires. What if she told someone? What if Dumbledore found out? The thought sent chills down my spine. I couldn't tell her, I couldn't tell ANYONE…"

I turned to Merope, Dumbledore and Lily. "You see my dilemma. You see how severe my desires were, how paranoid I was. I could have had her, you know. But I didn't need her, I only needed power. And that's the true beginning.'

All I could see now was darkness, and the distant winds were drowned out by Merope's sobs.


	10. Horcruxes

"Hello Mr. Riddle." I looked up to see the first truly familiar face. He was young, only a few decades younger than me.

His skin was fair, shining with grease, just like his shoulder-length black hair that hung carelessly into his face. He was thin with a dark air about him, almost as if he were waiting for the opportunity to insult someone, and his flowing black robes only added to the effect. The eyes of the man were like no other pair I'd ever seen: gleaming, menacing black, like a lightless cave, surprisingly unreadable.

"Severus Snape."

"Do proceed, Tom. I'm so _anxious _to hear this."

"My whole life I devoted to helping this world, and where am I now? Story Time?! Ugh! Very well. You see, I'd at last located the home of the one I most desired to meet, the one who had set my future in stone. I needed to pull evil up by the roots and exterminate it.

"That isn't enough to describe the feeling. I needed to see him, to know what vermin had betrayed me, feel him crumble under my force, see the life, the twinkle escape his eyes. When the sound of his heart died away, I would laugh. That's how little I thought of Mr. Riddle. He would be my first source of eternal life. As he'd caused my eternal death, it was all too fitting. A perfect plan.

"I dressed in my finest Muggle attire, a suit and tie if you could imagine. There was a beautiful woman sitting on the porch of the fine Riddle mansion. She smiled at me.

"'Tom? Weren't you in the house?'

"I flinched at the name. "Pardon me, ma'am, but I don't quite understand you. My name is Jonathon White, and I wonder if I could rest in your lovely home for one night. My travels have been long and harsh.'

"She smiled. 'Of course. Forgive me, but you look so much like my son. Tom's his name.'

"I acted curious, which in reality I was. I could almost taste the victory. 'Really? I wonder if I could meet him?'

"She smiled, entranced by my natural charm, and nodded, leading me into a room with a faireplace and two winged armchairs. 'Tom, this is Jonathon.'

"The vermin nodded. 'So Jonathon, what brings you here?'

"'A lifelong dream. I hope to fall in love. Have you ever been in love?' I had to fight the bitter note in my voice, and I almost lost control. Luckily, Tom was staring into the dancing blue flames.

"Hesitance shimmered in his eyes, along with the remembrance of something dark. 'No, I don't think I have.'

"I nodded stiffly. So typical of them, to lie about all the wrong things. I loved his timing; it made me despise him even more. 'Could you tell me about Mr Gaunt up that hill?'

"The vermin shuddered. I saw something odd in his eyes, something that looked like my own hatred. 'They're odd, they are. Freaks. A disgrace to the town. I wouldn't go near them, Jonathon.'

"I scowled. The fool, talking about my flawless family! He deserved to die, he deserved to rot away in this house!

"We chattered all day in the mansion, and then they cooked a magnificent dinner for me. I saw their faces, filled with joy, one happy family…

"'AVADA KADAVRA!'

"I laughed as they fell from their chairs, limp, the laughter never quite leaving their faces. If only I could have seen their souls escaping this universe, I would have been on the floor myself…

"At last I was whole. The ring, the Peverell ring, was on my fingers, and it was filled with energy, with power, with _life. _My soul was in the ring, my heritage could someday save my life.

"And so Tom Riddle tore me apart once more."


	11. The Other Riddle

"Will you tell the bloody story already? It's killing me!"

I rolled my eyes. "Why? You already know how this ends, do you not?"

"I don't, Tom," Merope sighed.

"Well that's your fault, isn't it!"

"Mr. Riddle?" Dumbledore's too-soft voice called.

"Yes?"

"I wanted you to meet a man you may be interested in… again."

My eyes met a young man, a man that seemed all too familiar. His face, down to the most subtle features, were a mirror of my own. The glossy dark hair, the fair skin, the flawless features, all were my own. But they no longer belonged to me. The face looking back at me was _his. _

"John, was it?"

"YOU VILLAIN! YOU DIRTY-BLOODED VERMIN! HOW DARE YOU STAND BEFORE ME? HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE HERE, YOU FILTHY-"

"T-tom…" My mother sobbed from behind me, falling to her knees. He paid her no attention, that FILTH treated my pure, perfect, Slytherin mother like nothing. How could she have fallen in love with such a terrible excuse for a man? He was nothing, he was dirt, he was ruination, he was…

"Your father, Tom."

Riddle's eyes widened. "My son? Sir, you must be mistaken. I never had children, you see-"

"You had one, you fool, you just didn't have the courage to admit that the PERFECT ARISTOCRAT Tom Riddle had a son with a woman that wasn't a Mudblood! Oh yes, Riddle, I know what's in your soul! You thought I would be trash, didn't you? Nothing, like my father before me! But I WAS something, Riddle! I was perfect, I was intelligent, I was charming, I was more than you could ever hoped for! He should have killed you! Morfin should have murdered you so that I didn't have to!"

"Morfin was a bum!"

"Morfin was an heir of the strongest bloodline in this world, and if you ever insult him-"

"-no better than your mother, I suppose."

I found myself lunging toward him, and it took a tremendous effort to control myself. I stood inched away from him, looking into his eyes, wishing him gone. "Never- insult- Merope- in- front- of- me. She did what you could never do. She gave up everything for love, and she gave it all for me."

Their eyes all widened. I sighed. Even Lord Voldemort can have moments, I suppose, especially when faced with such a disgusting person. My reason for my actions was clearer than ever.

"Let's face it, Tom," I continued, "even though that was a foolish action that even I don't condone, neither you or I would have the souls to give our lives for someone. We value ourselves too much. We're not that different, you know. Perhaps it was better that I didn't know you. But I can still despise you, Riddle. I despise you for what you did to Merope, what you couldn't do for me, what you did to me."

"And I apologise… son."

I cringed at the word. I'd finally told him how I felt, finally faced my greatest fear, admitted what had truly killed me. Faced with that simple truth, I felt the weight I'd carried lift a little, I felt that my entire life and the efforts I'd taken had only made healing more difficult.

For once in my life, I was the second Riddle. And for the first time, I felt the slightest bit of remorse.

"Why did you kill me, Tom?" Dumbledore asked, voice more cuttingly tranquil than ever.

For the first time, the answer was clear. "I don't know."


	12. Hangover

Merope gasped, unable to hide her terror even for me. I didn't know how to react to her emotions, so I simply continued. "You must understand that I'd been planning that moment for years, the moment when I would destroy the man who had betrayed me so. Over the years I imagined thousands of different scenarios and methods, but they all ended the same way: Tom Riddle's corpse hitting the floor. And my laughter. I always remembered that detail more vividly than any other.

"I did laugh when I killed them. I hadn't thought of Riddle as having a family, but they were only Mudbloods- so unimportant, so vulnerable. I used a single curse, and it was almost comical how they all hit the hard floor at the same time. Their falls were muffled by a rug. Luckily the maid and the gardener were both somewhere else, and it wasn't as if they could have known. The curse gave them no time to scream. I fleed shortly afterward, not bothering to make a diversion; how could they possibly suspect me?

"What I had NOT planned was what I would do the next day. Like a fool I sat by my window and moped, trying to look the same as I always did. I ran a finger through my hair, but then I saw the ring. This, of course, had a piece of my soul in it. Perhps it was unwise to wear the ring, but what conclusion could they draw from Gaunt's ring? And besides, my power was at risk. The ring would go nowhere.

"I let the sunlight make the stone glint, and it symbolised what was at last a reality. Was it wise, what I had done? Would there be consequences? The whole ordeal was impossible to believe. Nevertheless, I let it sink in. _I am now the last Riddle. I have killed my father and framed my uncle. And now I've split my soul. There's no turning back. _

_"_I sighed and let cold oblivion take me into the world of dreams."


	13. Roots of EVil

"One Horcrux wasn't enough. The pleasure that first kill had given me still lingered in the back of my mind, but the overall joy that came from revenge was withering away. I longed for that joy again, longed to split my soul again so that I could feel that sheer ecstacy once more. And so I would kill and kill again, kill until my hunger was satisfied. What was it that I hungered for exactly? It was no longer the power, or not in that moment at least. I didn't want the blood or the look on their faces or the light as it faded from their eyes. So what did I so long for?

"I don't think I ever truly realised what was so appealing about that new pastime of mine. Perhaps it was knowing that I could minipulate death, give myself the thought that I could also _cheat _death. These are only my speculations; I haven't the slightest clue of what, if anything, was coursing through my mind on that day. I was writing in my diary, a mere journal I'd gotten from a shop in Muggle London. There were two Londons I visited most every day: the one I was trapped in and wanted to escape more than anything, and the one that was a portal to finding more of myself. Sometimes I'd go to both in the same afternoon simply to remind myself of how very different they were. But that diary was the one piece of Muggle London that I truly loved. It held every bit of information I thought useful, every plan I absolutely had to see as a written reality, every dream I'd ever had. It held my foolish hopes and fears, my deepest desires, my pain. The book _was_ my _soul_. My only real friend besides my wand.

"This would have to be my next Horcrux. It only made sense that this beloved guide to Tom Marvolo Riddle would hold a piece of his precious soul. The kill wouldn't have to be special, only a mere Muggle that was strolling alone. The Horcrux itself was the only thing of real importance. The last kill would represent vengeance; this would represent awakening. All the pain I had felt, all the things I had been deprived of, these things would be returned tenfold. And I would feel no remorse. Tom Riddle would feel no pain. But I was not Tom Riddle any longer. I would be Lord Voldemort now, the darkest, most powerful wizard in the world. Just a kill would not be enough. I would use my natural abilities once more. _Parseltongue... _

"Do you see now what I have done to mend myself?" I asked of them, though I only wanted one woman's answer. "Do you even begin to understand?"

"Merope's eyes were shining with tears. "But you were only wounding yourself further."

"Perhaps, but maybe it was for the better. The world needed to see these things happen in order to prevent this. A necessary evil!"

"Do you think?" Severus asked silkily behind me. "Why, then, did you mold another just like you?" I turned to see him smirking maliciously at his private knowledge.

"Who do you mean?"

"Young Potter, Riddle. You took his parents and gave him a life like yours, yet you speak of preventing such things..."

I frowned. "That was... a different case with a different explanation. Perhaps I _was_ wrong in doing it, but I've gotten my punishment, haven't I? I am HERE!! But some or born to be evil... aren't they?" I turned to Dumbledore desperately. Although I hated asking, the man had to have some sort of answer.

He merely shook his hade at me, his eyes looking as exhausted as they had when I'd last dueled him. Listless. "No Tom," he sighed. "Evil is determined by the paths we choose."

I felt like runnung. The tears were pouring from my eyes. The honorable Lord Voldemort was crying! He was sobbing, trying to gain composure, or better yet, find an escape. I felt a pain I'd never known, and with it came the emptiness I'd had always. His words made sense. Albus Dumbledore made sense! And worse yet, he was CORRECT! But why the hell should I be crying because of that? Because I was wrong? Because I couldn't stand to see him know so much that he could control me even afte our deaths? No.

No, it had to be much more than that. No man would cry like this because he was wrong. Realisation hit me. It was because I'd wasted over half a century doing things that made no difference, because I'd murdered people when _I _was the one who deserved to die, because I'd had the choice and I'd chosen WRONG. It was so unjust. Merope wrapped her arms around me. I flinched. She said nothing, only let my wretched sobs continue until I could no longer control myself. She looked at the others.

"I think you should leave now," she said softly. "We'll call you back when Tom is ready to continue."

How I yearned to continue, to tell them everything, to make them understand. I wanted to bellow my apologies, to give them everything they'd lost, but there was no reversing what I'd done. Merope's kindness amazed me, and for what it was worth I ceased my crying and patted her back to let her know that I would continue. My remorse I could live with as I continued for their benefit. After all, that had just been the beginning of the story.


	14. Overheard

**"**Would you like me to call them back, Tom?" I admired Merope for her incredible generosity. I'd hated her for not having the strength to stay alive for me, but now, after recent events, I couldn't help but love her.

How strange. I loved someone now. I didn't care about what she could do for me, about how strong she was, I simply loved her. That had never happened before. Was this what the Potter boy had meant by remorse? For once the name didn't send a wave of loathing through my body. This frightened me. I was so _used _to wanting him dead, it seemed strange to not have that revolsion of the name. I didn't so much mind the name Tom either. Not now.

"No, I think I'll get them. Don't worry," I added when I saw the concern in her eyes, "I simply _owe_ it to them. Besides, I have to explain the more terrible things."

She hesitated. "Tom..."

I raised an eyebrow. "Say what you will. I want to get this over with."

"You don't _have _to do this, Tom. You don't owe them anything."

"Ahh. You don't understand. I have to do this. I _killed _them, Merope, and if I didn't, I at least caused them to die. Do not protest. I _need _to do this. For them and for me. I need to hear the words came out of my mouth so I understand this myself, so that I may try to forget. Nothing makes sense anymore. Not to me, anyway. I'm going to get them." I quickly turned without waiting for her reply and went to fetch them.

I could hear her thoughts. Years of Legilimency were coming back to me. _Tom, I do wish you wouldn't take this so hard. You don't need to hurt yourself any more than you have already. _

I smiled nastily at her thoughts. _Oh, but I do, dear Merope. You seem so brittle. Now I see why you didn't last. I think you lasted longer than you should have, months longer. Why is that? Because of me? I appreciate that, but I deserve it not. You should have saved those desperate efforts..._

Soon I found them standing together, discussing my stories to themselves. I had to hear this.

"I think he's beginning to see what we see," Lily Potter murmured, and there was pity in her voice. She felt SORRY for me, even after I killed her??

"The Dark Lord? I think you're the only one he's fooled, Lily." Snape. Of couse _he_ was skeptical. I didn't blame him.

"I don't know, he had me convinced. And Merope Gaunt." Riddle.

"She's his mother! Can't any of you see? He's wrapped you around his finger! Just wait until he turns evil again!"

"You are suspicious because it's in your nature," Lily chided him. "Maybe he's seen the error of his ways. I feel absolutely terrible, seeing him sobbing for that. It's like he's not even the same person after hearing him explain."

Severus just rolled his eyes. Lily did the same. "You should be careful to check who hears you when you talk," I said, making them jump. All of them watched me warily, wondering what I would do next.

"Do you want me to tell you the truth? I don't think I deserve the sympathy. I think you should just walk away, because I need to tell you this."

Lily shook her head. "We need this just just as much as you do. This is the only thing we don't know. This explains everything. I do want to know this."

I smiled at her, grateful for the forgiveness. How could she forgive so easily? What an odd quality in a person. She really was wonderful, kind, even beautiful. And she'd tried to save her son, her son that had always been damned by a Riddle man. She was too much like Merope. I could enjoy being friends with her. For the first time, it didn't matter what blood ran through a person's veins. There were people of every sort in every blood type.

And Severus... skeptical Severus Snape. He was so rational in his actions now. And such a great mind, perhaps as sharp or sharper than my own. A miniature Dumbledore. Hhe wasn't so terrible. And it didn't seem that he'd betrayed me anymore. I'd betrayed him.

Even Tom Riddle had his good qualities. I still hated him more than I'd hated anything in my life, but I could see in him what I'd once seen in myself. He was charming, probably intelligent, and simply cared about his own causes more than anyone else's. It occured to me that I'd become almost _identical _to him. I cringed at the thought.

They were such beautiful people, and now it gave me joy just to gaze upon them and see them as they were. Why had I wanted to destroy such people? I had to tell them more, to let them know the truth regardless of how much it pained me. And I would tell them how I felt at the time, and beg them to understand how very changed I was. My rebirth was here.

"Come with me. I have to tell you about the Chamber of Secrets."


	15. Back To The Chamber

"So what would this be about, the next Horcrux?"

"I suppose so. That's where my life had led me. Please understand how very confounded I am at the moment, and how that may effect everything I do or say. Ask anything you wish to know. As you know, I was returning to Hogwarts again after my summer ended. I can't say that I was anything less than ecstatic. That pitiful excuse for an orphanage had left me enveloped by Muggles. They were a constant reminder of my hatred of my father, of all that in any way reflected him, and any second thought I may have had vanished instantly. How I hated them, more than I hated other Muggleborns, if you can imagine..."

"You claim to be a redeemed man?" Severus said silkily, raising a black eyebrow, eyes glistening. At least there was light reflected in them.

"I am only telling you what I remember. These people were my enemies as far as I was concerned, and I'm not sure that I could see them as human beings now. There is too much bitterness there. May I continue, or would you like to accuse me of something else?"

Snape only nodded. "I got on the train and sat with the same crowd as always, and at least pretended to listen as they told about their summers and what they were planning to do when classes started... all of those pointless things. I didn't really listen to a word of it, but over the years I'd become quite an actor. I nodded occasionally, laughed with the others, acted interested. As if I cared about things that didn't involve me. They asked about my summer. I'd known that the questions were coming. I simply told them that I'd gotten a new hobby. I didn't tell them about Tom Riddle. My past didn't concern them.

"The time passed more quickly than it ever had, and I was amazed that I was still enjoying myself. At night I'd get together with a group of friends, taught them the best of spells, readied them to join my group. They even called me the Dark Lord. It was a revolution, and I was the leader, a hero. I was almost a Messiah. The satisfaction I felt from them obeying me doubtlessly was almost as satisfying as the kill had been. But there was still work to be done.

"They were to gaurd the entire floor that night. I remembered the Chamber, and I went to further explore it. What a terrific hiding place it could be. The sink was all too easy to open, and in moments I was plummeting downward, feeling nothing but the icy wind hitting my face. I heard a hissing. 'Lumos!' I whispered, and through the light I saw a great serpant. A basilisk, if I remembered correctly, which I always did. That meant that I shouldn't stare into its eyes.

"'Who intrudes my home?' came the hiss. 'Is that you, great Salazar, come to liberate me?'

"'No. I am an heir. Salazar Slytherin has been dead for centuries. But I can free you. I need to get the filth out of this castle. Will you help me?'

"'Yes. I will await the order. Bring your victims close to the chamber. There I will wait.'

"'Thank you.'

"My target was less than difficult to find. Her name was Myrtle, and she was the most revolting Muggle alive. Always crying and moaning on about something. And now she had glasses, and of course she would be tormented because of them. I followed her to the bathroom, listening to her sobs, chuckling to myself. I heard her shriek as my basilisk hissed.

"'This one, Master?'

"Ismiled at the title. 'Yes, she'll do.'

'iheard he scream as she saw him there, but then all was quiet. It must have been the eyes. I clutched the diary in my hand, eying the body lying on the floor. She had fallen on her side, and her face was red with misery. Her face was still wet with tears. I muttered the spell, and I felt a pain in my chest as my soul ripped yet again. This brought me no emotion. I didn't need my soul anyways. Why would I want to fall in love? So I could end up like the Muggles, leaving some child to find for themselves whether they were good or evil? So I could feel even more pain? As if I needed _that._

"Asilver mass appeared. It resembled the House ghosts, but why would they be in a bathroom? I recognised the face.

"'MYRTLE?'

"She grinned. 'Hello Tom. I don't know what happened. The last thing I remember is a pair of eyes...'

"Quite a detective. Did she not see her corpse at my feet, or was she distracted by my attractive face? 'Probably Olive Hornby.' She scowled at the name. I will get him. I'll see you later, Tom.'

"And so she raced off to get her vengeance. That's probably how the teachers found out she was dead. And that's the story of the actual Horcrux, though it's rather meaningless. Any questions?"

The Weasley boy nodded. "Did anyone ever findd out?"

"Apart from Dumbledore, no. I gave the diary to Lucius. But that comes later."


	16. The One Who Won't Believe

"This is going to be... a test of my evolution. Dumbledore, you may not want to hear this..."

He merely smiled. So genuine, his smile. It haunted me, the kindness in his features. It had never faded, even after he was dead. It shimmered somewhere deep within the core of him, was reflected mostly in his eyes. I could imagine that same smile playing on his lips even if he were writhing in pain.

"That won't be necessary Tom, but thank you for your warning. What are you explaining that you don't want me to hear?"

I frowned. "It's not that I don't want you to hear, it's just... I fear a relapse."

He nodded. He understood. He had been my worst enemy, yet he always understood so much! It drove me insane, his knowledge. It seemed to be infinate. "But what is your next story about?"

"I would have thought it obvious. You've forgotten? It's about you."

He chuckled his inane chuckle. "Go on. Just look at Merope- if she doesn't make you angry."

"Very well. None of my teachers suspected me of killing Myrtle. Why would clever, popular, charming, Tom Riddle murder an innocent girl? Myrtle told them time and time again that I was innocent, and I suppose that may have helped as well. But Dumbledore sensed something. He remained suspicious, as he always did. And one day they questioned me. I swore my innocence to those men, and Dippett believed every word. I said that I was so sorry to know about Myrtle, and could I help, and please don't shut down Hogwarts. Of course, the last part was sincere. My eyes watered with revolsion at the thought of being sent back to the orphanage. I'd come so far...

"Dippett thought these were tears of grief, tears for Myrtle. He patted my shoulder and told me that it would all be alright, and that I'd never be questioned again, and that he was sorry.

"Dumbledore still wasn't convinced. He was waiting for me in the common room when I arrived. It was empty- only myself and Dumbledore there. I felt nervous, but let my instincts calm me. Surely I could fool him, just as I'd fooled everyone else.

"'Good evening, Tom,' he said in his most pleasant voice.

"'What brings you here, professor?' I asked, faking interest. 'Were you looking for someone?'

"He nodded, that irksome smile never leaving his face. 'I was lookimg for you.'

"'Oh?'

"'I needed to ask you a few questions. I ask for your patience and honesty.'

"'I was already questioned-'

"'These questions are different, Tom. They have nothing to do with poor Myrtle. Do sit.'

"I did what I was told reluctantly. What was the old fool planning? Was he trying to fool me? Somehow trickery seemed not to fit Dumbledore. Perhaps he only wanted answers. But to what questions?

"'You are probably confused. This won't take long if you cooperate. Tell me, do you enjoy Hogwarts?'

"My answer was honest. 'I like it very much.'

"'What is your favorite subject?'

"This interrogation worried me; where was it leading? Nothing was making any sense. 'Defense Against the Dark Arts, sir.'

"'I thought so. Have you heard about your father?'

"'I have no father, sir. I have no family. Don't you remember?'

"He merely nodded. 'Tom Riddle, along with his entire family, died this summer. They all died sitting at the dinner table. None of the nonmagical police could find anything that suggested murder, but the maid did mention a guest, a man who looked exactly like the Riddles...'

"I glared at him. How could he suspect me, how could he dare? I'd been so cautious! He was ruining everything! How I wanted to rip that smile off of his face, to rid those eyes of the light, to tear him apart, to hear him scream in agony. Words weren't enough to describe my loathing of him. 'How dare you insinuate such a thing!'

"He frowned; at last! 'I accused you of nothing. Do you care that he is dead?'

"I laughed, and a hint of insanity shone through my laugh. '_Why the hell should I care if he's alive or dead?'_ I snarled. _'He's only cast me further into darkness! I will never forgive him for what he did to Merope. He deserves to be dead and you will not tell me otherwise! But I did not kill him.'_

"Dumbledore stared down at me silently. His gaze was torture. 'WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME!'

"His gaze wasn't cruel, merely curious. 'What's bothering you, Tom?'

"'Don't- call me TOM! You are always wary of me! You trust me with nothing, and now you have the nerve to come here and ask me about murder! You think you know everything, but you know nothing about what I'm going through! You're a pureblood wizard, and you know your parents...' I had to stop before the pain overwhelmed me. Tim Riddle felt pain. Lord Voldemort felt nothing.

"He sighed. 'You have proved yourself untrustworthy, Tom. Lineage is nothing. And do not think my life was perfect. My father...' Another sigh. 'My father was in Azkaban, and I can't say much about my mother either. And my brother never seemed to have much ambition. Dear Arianna... One of us killed her. It could have been me, and I regret being alive every day. Don't think that I was always what I am now. I had plans very similar to yours. So forgive me when I say that I understand exactly what you are going through.'

"I ignored him. He couldn't be telling the truth. As if a man like Dumbledore would ever think of killing Mudbloods. He was in love with them..." I grimaced. "Even I can be wrong."

I stared at them. Lily's mouth was wide open, Fred Weasley was shaking his head in wonder, Merope seemed at the point of tears, Tom was trying to act indifferent though the discontent showed in his face, and Severus... well, he was the same as always. Dumbledore looked amazed.

"Tom..."

"Yes Albus?"

"Why do you loathe me?"

"Why _did _I loathe you?"

"If you don't now."

"Because you had the blood I'd always wanted. And everyone showed you so much respect... I longed for power such as yours, and you threw it away. Or so I thought. But you could have done so much..."

"That's what Aberforth used to say."

"It's true. And with all the things you know- I envy that above all things! I want to know something about everything! If I had so much as half of your knowledge... I would still do anything for that! To have your mind, your abilities! How did you not become like me?"

The timeless eyes looked at me again, and this time the was a bit of dejection. "I chose the right path. I chose my mind over my heart. Our minds aren't what prod us into doing these things, you know. It's what's in your heart. And I think you've begun to discover that, Tom. And I applaud you for that. Hello Sirius, Remus, James, Tonks. Come and listen to the rest of this."

"Albus! I need to tell you this. I saw nothing wrong with myself when I died, but I am no longer blind. I want to change, to take the right path. I only wish things had turned out differently. Please find it in yourself to forgive me. I shall change. I don't want to be evil any more. Why is that?"

He grinned. "This place changes people. It gives reprieves. Perhaps it shall give you one, when you finish learning."

"It already has," I replied, giving Merope and Dumbledore my most genuine, grateful smile. It felt wonderful. I realised that I'd never smiled like that before. It felt miraculous. I'd have to smile more often.


	17. Old Ties

**"**Tom, you've come really far," Merope nearly sobbed. I merely laughed, though on the inside I enjoyed her noticing me. For the first time in my life I enjoyed the attention, and there was a strange realisation there: I truly _wanted_ her to love me. Not because she was a witch, but because she'd been there for me. And she'd forgiven me so effortlessly.

"You make it sound like therapy, mother." I jumped at the words that came from my mouth. I'd called her "mother" for the first time. It had been so thoughtless, so _right._

"It's more of a recovery for all of us, Tom, especially you." Albus. I couldn't say that I'd completely forgiven him; that wasn't possible yet, not in my mind's fragile state. But I no longer wished to harm him, and I could listen to him speak without sneering. Actually, his thoughts were fascinatng.

"A recovery from what, exactly?"

"Life," he said simply. Was there nothing the man _didn't_ understand? I was speechless, or rather,I could think of nothing to say that would make me his equal. He must have known my thoughts. "You can talk just to help you heal, Tom. It heals the soul."

I nodded to show that I understood. But I did not _have_ a soul. He knew that, perhaps better than the rest of them put together. "I see that now that you've said it. It's just... difficult..."

"Speaking to me?"

"Speaking to anyone. I didn't speak, unless I was giving orders. It makes me nervous, honestly."

"That will go away in time, Tom. You'll be able to say whatever you like."

"But this is different," I insisted. "This is my life. This is my _soul..._ or it would be. Surely you feel _something _when you tell of your life?"

He nodded. "Only the same grief. But you are different, Tom."

I didn't know how to respond. Yes, I was different, but that wasn't always a good thing. So I simply dove into my story. "I graduated-"

"That was quick. Why did you start without telling us what we were learning about?"

"Because I'm unable to say much else. Remember that I'm evil-"

"_YOU'RE NOT EVIL!"_ came a harsh voice. I'd expected Mmerope, but the voice did not belong to Merope. It belonged to Tom Riddle. "You just chose the wrong path!"

I wanted to react, to challange him, to at least see him in some time and place where his voice would matter not to me. But there was no such time, there was no such place. I felt the tears coming again, and what was the point of hiding them? I let myself recover, then decided to give them the story of the next Horcrux.

"I graduated with impeccable scores and records. My professors were constantly saying that I could go wherever I wanted to go, and that they had connections in every department that could get me a fanciful job. Slughorn was particularly keen on this. He knew that I'd be something great, that he could tell just because he knew me. I promised to be something great, but I didn't bother to tell him that he didn't know the actual Tom Riddle. Only Dumbledore did, and even he didn't know the true extent of my plans. He didn't congratulate me, but he gave me a stern look.

"'Be careful, Tom,' he murmured. I didn't understand those words, though I understand perfectly now.

"'Of course, Professor.'

"I left the orphanage as soon as I could, and decided to work somewhere where I could find my next Horcrux and victim. Somewhere where dark magic was ordinary. Borgin and Burk's. My persuasion skills made me a perfect salesman. I travelled to the houses of rich collectors, charming them, begging them to buy something so that I could be payed. This usually worked, and it gave me practice for my victims. By this time I looked like an archangel.

"I can't say that the job had been my first choice. I went to Headmaster Dippett, begging him to let me teach, to let me teach the students all I knew. He turned me away, saying I was too young, telling me to apply again in a year or two. This devastated me. I wanted to search the castle for items that I could use, to tell my Slytherins about my views, to teach them about real power. So it was Borgin and Burks for me.

"None of my teachers admired me for my choice; in fact, it tormented them. They thought I was wasting my talent by being a mere salesman. Of course, I was more than that. I saw everyone with power, and I was learning all there was to know about Dark Arts. But none of my once-admiring teachers knew this. They wrote to me frequently. _Come away_, they said. _Come and stay at my home until you have a proper career. You are worth so much more than a _salesman!_ Don't you want more than this?_ My replies were short and false. '_I'm sorry to disappoint you, Professor, but I feel as if I've found my calling. Perhaps I shall join you one day at Hogwarts as a collegue. Until then, my regards to you. Tom.'_

"Those were well received, as I always was, and my jobs became more frequent. My favourite was Hepzibah Smith. I sensed that she was hiding something amoung her family heirlooms, and I wanted more than anything to know what it was. I came in one day to sell her something else, but this time it was different. I was so sure that I could find the last of her secrets that day. I took time to make myself extra handsome (more of a reason for her to speak), and she did the same.

"When her elf opened the door for me I saw her sitting in her favourite hair. Hepzibah was a very large woman, very old, with very light skin and pink robes that were designed with the most intricate detail. She was always dressed her best for me: her ginger wig was curled and styled in a way she thought elegant, and her cheeks were powdered until they were almost the colour of blood. None of this was attractive to me, but I let her think that she was gorgeous. No reason to ruin my charade. Let the woman admire herself in her jeweled mirror, thinking I loved her. It wouldn't matter soon. If she had something I wanted, I'd probably kill her anyway. And why should I be concerned? I'd gotten away with it twice in the last few years.

"I kissed her hand. How talented I was at this flattery business! She ordered her elf to put the roses I'd given her into a vase. The elf brought cakes.

"'Help yourself, Tom," she said sweetly. 'I know how you love my cakes. Now, how are you? You look pale. They overwork you at that shop, I've said it a hundred times...'

"I smiled automatically, but I found this quite humerous in the first place. My skin had always been ashen, and surely she knew that. And Mr. Burke would have never overworked his favourite employee.

"Hepzibah smiled in what she thought to be an alluring way. 'Well, what is your cause for visiting this time?' she asked hopefully, batting her eyelashes. I tried not to smile again. I had a job to do, and it didn't involve dating a woman older than my grandfather.

"'Mr. Burke would like to make an improved offer for the goblin-made armour. Five hundred galleons, he feels it is a more than fair-'

"Now, now, not so fast, or I'll think you're only here for my trinkets,' she moped. I frowned. That was exactly what I was there for. To take her treasures, if she had any. It was time to charm her again, before she was angry. It was what I did. Like the murders, it came naturally.

"'I am ordered her because of them. I am only a poor assistant, madam, who must do as he is told. Mr. Burke wishes to inquire-'

"'Oh, Mr. Burke, phooey! I've something to show you that I've never shown Mr. Burke! Can you keep a secret, Tom? Will you promise you won't tell Mr. Burke I've got it? He'd never let me rest if he knew I'd shown it to you, and I'm not selling, not to Burke, not to anyone! But you, Tom, you'll appreciate it for its history, not how many Galleons you can get for it.'

"Was this it? Was this the trinket I'd waited so long for, the next Horcrux? It had been worth the wait, worth charming the ancient woman if this was it.

"'I'd be glad to see anything Miss Hepzibah shows me,' I said, mocking hesitance. She giggled. _As long as it benefits me, _I added devilishly.

"She showed me the first. Hufflepuff's cup. I let it touch my fingers, felt the finely crafted porcelain what was worth so much. I wanted it more than anything I'd ever wanted. That was, until I saw the second treasure.

"It was a heavy golden locket, and emblemed upon it... A serpantine _S._ Slytherin's mark. I didn't listen to many of Hepzibah's words, until I heard where Burke had gotten the thing.

"'...bought it, apparently, from a ragged-looking woman who seemed to have stolen it, but had no idea of its true value-'

"My fingers tightened around the locket. This thing had been my mother's, I was sure. And now I had it in my hands. It was as if this chain _was_ my mother. The chain _was_ all the pain she'd suffered. I wanted to never let it go, the only remains of my family...

"Hepzibah grabbed for the locket. I wanted to curse her then and there, but the instinctive voice deep within me spoke. _Wait until you have a plan._

"And so I left. Poison later claimed Miss Hepzibah's life, and the house elf confessed. By the time anyone was suspicious I was log gone, and the Horcrux was made. This one represented... loss.

"Now I feel as if that death wasn't called for, but I don't regret stealing those things back. It pains me to say it, but I feel as if that locket was my _property. _It was all I had left. That day I realised that I thought love was just a hoax people used to keep themselves occupied until they could have something better. I would save myself the pain of that loss... Or so I thought."

Severus glared at me. "What do you think of love now?"

"I... can't be sure. I think I love now, but I still think it was a bit of trouble... But perhaps it's worth the agony."

**Note: Conversation between Tom and Hepzibah are from HBP. The rest is mine. **


	18. New Conquests

"You know, I think I'm doing this whole explanation thing wrong... The Horcruxes no longer matter, not really. I forgot to tell you the other things you needed."

"What would that be?"

"The feeling I had after making thw others, the changes I was going through, the other things that were going on. I think that you don't need the information on the other Horcruxes as much as you'll need this. My life by this time was much more than making Horcruxes. But I have to tell you that, don't I?"

I looked into Dumbledore's eyes this time, mostly because I didn't want to see the emotions on the faces of the others. Dumbledore knew most of the things I told him, or at least he knew my actions. I don't think he could have fathomed some of my thoughts, because even _I _was confused at time about them.

"You see, by then the Death Eaters were branded. And I'm not just speaking of my band of Slytherins. The group by this time was a fullscale mafia, and they were active. I had to mark them as followers and have a way to contact them, which was where the Dark Mark came in. It really was just a tattoo of the two things that were most important to me: the snake, which stood for my heritage, and the skull, which represented the murders I had so enjoyed. We would luminate the night sky with this mark when we were afoot.

"You must understand that I was trying to eliminate what I thought to be evil, or what my past had made me consider to be evil. And so the Ministries of the countries we raided got involved. Not that I minded. The Death Eaters- my followers- disposed of them with ease. The people who tried to stop me from getting my vengeance, my salvation, was just as deserving of death as the Muggles we threatened. Of course, word spreads quickly. England soon heard of mysterious natural disasters, numerous accidents and an increase in the Muggle death toll. And of course the wizards dying and the appearance of that Dark Mark. These were my early days, merely practice for what would come soon. I was testing the strength of my army, while at the same time I grew stronger.

"My physical appearance was changing as my killing boundaries lessened. Not that I really cared. My bribery days were coming to an end. My wand was all I needed. But the face in the mirror was impossible to ignore. My skin was less alive than it had been, almost as if my flesh was made of wax, and my eyes were becoming bloodshot and cold. My skin was more papery than it had ever been, but as I said, these things bothered me very little. My quest was my only concern then.

"Despite those changes, the kill grew more appealing still. There was no hint of regret now, no voice within my mind that said maybe this was wrong, maybe I should take a moment to conside these actions. There had been a time when my instincts had been almost like those of an animal, telling me to kill because I had to kill to survive. But it wasn't like that at all now. I took my torturing each of my victims, making sure they knew how very worthless they were and how they were destroying the world and how honoured they should be to have such a wizard end them personally. I howled with the same sick laughter when I saw the horror in their faces, and that laughter only grew when I saw their limp bodies drop to the floor. I don't think I saw them as people anymore. I only saw evil, evil that I had to eliminate.

"I cannot say that I really cared that much about my Death Eaters. I admired them for following my orders so precisely, but they didn't really see what I saw. Most of these Death Eaters were merely pureblood wizards who had been taught to despise Mudbloods, and had never so much as spoken to a Muggle in their entire lives. I was different. I knew the Muggles for the creatures they really were, and I despised them as no man ever could. I never told them my past, of course. As if they would have dared to ask. Their only concern, apart from the cause, was keeping me satisfied with them.

"That life was of course very fitting, but I grew bored with it after a short amount of time. There was something else I needed to do, something I'd always longed to do. It was time to return to my only home, to continue the search in the only place that held true value to me. I had to face this obstacle. I had to return to Hogwarts."


	19. The Eyes

"Did you go to Hogwarts again, then?"

"I did. I found a nasty surprise when I wrote a letter asking for an interview: there was a new Headmaster at Hogwarts. Albus Dumbledore. But how could I ever get the post if the man interviewing me had been against me since he'd met me? Surely Dumbledore wouldn't still be prejudiced against me? Surely he didn't still see me as a soulless monster- even though I know now that I was- and surely he wouldn't accuse me of more things he knew nothing about? This wasn't going to be pleasant.

"I arrived, of course, on the scheduled day, and left my Death Eaters at the Hog's Head. Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov- my old Hogwarts friends, who had stood by me for so long. They were my idea of true friends, and they were waiting for my command to enter the castle. Everything was perfect. I set out that night to meet Dumbledore.

"I entered at the scheduled time. I was sure that he would be more than curious about my appearance, about where I'd been, but he showed no sign of astonishment, of interest.

"'Good evening, Tom,' he said in that falsely friendly voice of his. 'Won't you sit down?'

"I sat. 'I heard that you had become Headmaster. A worthy choice.' I had to use all my strength to keep myslef from saying 'only because you fill their heads with nonsense about love and see everything you should not be allowed to see.'

"Dumbledore smiled. 'I am glad you approve. May I offer you a drink?'

"'That would be welcome. I have come a long way.' A drink would give me more time to consider what I was to do.

"'So, Tom...to what do I owe the pleasure?' As if he didn't know.

"I could have slapped Dumbledore; he knew my new name, he knew I hated my filthy name, so why could he not use my new name? Surely he knew it?

"'They do not call me "Tom" anymore. These days, I am known as-'

"'I know what you are known as. But to me, you will always be Tom Riddle. It is one of the more irritating things about old teachers. I am afraid that they never quite forget their charges' youthful beginnings.' He said it as cordially as he could, but I could see the hidden meaning to that statement. He was openly disrespecting me, not allowing me to come there on my own terms. He raised his glass and toasted to me. I wanted it to shatter. I wanted _him_ to shatter.

"'I am surprised you have remained here so long. I always wondered why a wizard such as yourself never wished to leave school.' Why had he not taken advantage of his gifts? Why wasn't he in control? The entire idea appalled me.

"'Well, to a wizard such as myself, there can be nothing more important than passing on ancient skills, helping hone young minds. If I remember correctly, you once saw the attraction of teaching too.'

"'I see it still. I merely wondered why you -who are so often asked for advice by the Ministry, and who have twice, I think, been offered the post of Minister-'

"'Three times at the last count, actually. But the Ministry never attracted me as a career. Again, something we have in common, I think.' I cocked my head. How could he dare compare himself to _me?_ I, who had stretched the limits of wizardry further than any other wizard had dared to; I, who had done more in my lifetime than he could have fathomed doing in his. We were nothing alike. Were we?

"He waited for me to speak. 'I have returned, later, perhaps, than Professor Dippett expected... but I have returned, nevertheless, to request again what he told me I was too young to have. I have come to you to ask that you permit me to return to this castle, to teach. I think you must know I have seen and done much since I left this place. I could show and tell your students things they can gain from no other wizard.' I thought of the Horcruxes, of the things I'd seen as I swept across the countryside, and closed my eyes. How far I had come.

"Dumbledore eyed me from the rim of his goblet, obviously thinking of all the things he'd heard. 'Yes, I certainly do know that you have seen and done much since leaving us. Rumours of your doings have reached your old school, Tom. I should be sorry to believe half of them.'

"The old fool. Didn't he see what I'd been doing, what an excellent revolution I was bringing forward? Or was he still obsessed with his _love? _I kept my expression unreadable. 'Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore.' I imagined the things that would happen because of Dumbledore's greatness, the rumours that must have surfaced. But the old man seemed to have only morality on his mind.

"'You call it "greatness," what you've been doing, do you?' he asked, a new tone to his voice. He sounded so utterly devastated that I almost reached out to him. But I'd learned to control _that_ part of me years ago. Only the monster remained now. The things I'd sone were rational. This was my revenge. How could he not see that? He saw everything else.

"'Certainly. I have experimented; I have pushed the boundaries of magic further, perhaps, than they have ever been pushed-'

"'Of some kinds of magic,' he retorted quietly, still disappointed. 'Of some. Of others, you remain... forgive me... woefully ignorant.'

"I smiled nastily at this. He was still think of his love, the thing I would never experience, the thing I never wanted. Love led to pain. Love led to bitterness. And love led to death. I did not want those weaknesses. 'The old argument. But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than any kind of magic, Dumbledore.'

"'Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places.'

"'Well, then, what better palce to start my fresh researches than here, at Hogwarts? Will you let me return? Will you let me share my knowledge with your students? I place myself and my talents at your disposal. I am yours to command.' Those words burnt my tongue. But I was needy. And Dumbledore was the only man who hadn't fallen for my many efforts to fool him.

"He raised his eyebrows. 'And what will become of those whom_ you _command? What will happen to those who call themselves -or so rumour has it- the Death Eaters?'

"I was amazed that he knew the name. I was appalled. But surely that was the only thing he knew. 'My friends will carry on without me, I am sure.'

"'I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,' he said, looking into my eyes. 'I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.'

"I frowned at his accusation. 'You are mistaken.'

"'Then if I were to go to the Hog's Head tonight, I would not find a group of them -Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov- awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed, to travel this far with you on a snowy night, merely to wish you luck as you attempted to secure a teaching post.' I scowled. How did he know that they were with me? What else did he know?

"'You are as ominiscient as ever, Dumbledore.'

"'Oh no, merely friendly with the local barmen. Now, Tom...' He stopped as if trying to break some invisible barrier, drawing his fingertips together in a very habitual way. 'Let us speak openly. Why have you come here tonight, surrounded by henchmen, to request a job we both know you do not want?'

"I was amased and offended. How could he think that I did not wish to return? This had been my home, the place where I had found my true heritage and destiny, and the place where my plan would come full circle. The place had such a history. I wanted to be a part of that. 'A job I do not want? On the contrary, Dumbledore, I want it very much.'

"'Oh, you want to come back to Hogwarts, but you do not want to teach any more than you wanted to when you were eighteen. What is it you're after, Tom? Why not try an open request for once.'

"How dare he disrespect me so? I was the greatest wizard alive, and yet he tried to humiliate me as if I were at his disposal at the orphanage again. He was just like the Muggles, trying to destroy the things I'd wanted for so long. And could he not even grant me one small mercy?

"'If you do not want to give me a job-'

"'Of course I don't. And I don't think for a moment you expected me to. Nevertheless, you came here, you asked, you must have had a purpose.'

"I felt that inhuman anger boil deep within me, the same empty rage I felt when thoughts of Tom Riddle haunted my memory. I was not Tom Riddle, I was not Lord Voldemort, I was merely that creature who had become a monster because of the father he'd never had, and the mother who had died when he'd been born, and those wretched Muggles who had been a constant reminder of how little the world could offer him. And those eyes; oh, those blue eyes with all knowledge and understanding and control that I so loathed! They were looking through me, mocking me! I hated the old man more than my words could say, and yet I envied him more than anyone I'd ever met. Him, with his infinate knowledge and power and endless lists of people who loved him, people who he'd loved who had never hurt him. _I _wanted the effortless happiness _he _had!

"I could feel these things burning through me. I stood, unable to stay still and control myself any longer. 'This is your final word?'

"He copied my actions. 'It is.'

"'Then we have nothing more to say to each other.' How wonderful it was, the thought of never seeing him and his eyes again.

"'No, nothing.' A great remorse filled his face, almost as if he were experiencing a terrible memory that he wished he could change. But even the great Albus Dumbledore could not change the past. 'The time is long gone when I could frighten you with a burning wardrobe and force you to make repayment for your crimes. But I wish I could, Tom... I wish I could...'

"My hand inched toward my pocket, and my fingers brushed against yew. I wanted to curse him, but I could not. There was so much I wanted to say to him, so much I wanted to say to make his wretched _love_ disappear. I cursed the teaching post when I left. I hid my Horcrux that represented a new era, and then left again. I still do not know the answers to my questions, Dumbledore.

"_When Riddle abandonned Merope because he found she was a witch, what use to her was love? Did love save her? No, Dumbledore. Love killed her. And when I was going mad with those Mudbloods, did any form of love save me from myself? And what of you, Dumbledore? If you loved me as you say you love everyone, why did you not help me? Why did you not trust me even to come to Hogwarts? Because you saw yourself mirrored in me? Or because you knew I was damned? If Eileen loved me, and if my friends loved me, why could they not stop me? Why did they drive me further down the twisted path I took? And when Lily and James Potter died? Where was the love then? And what of your sister? If love is better than magic, Dumbledore, why could you not save her? Why did you not live, if people loved you? You know everything; surely you know this. ANSWER ME!!"_

His eyes widened. "I do not know everything, Tom. I do not know why such terrible things happen to people like us, people who have done nothing to deserve bad things, but I do know that love makes all the difference. Love saved me... I only wish it could have saved you sooner."

"Sooner?"

He smiled. "You are redeemed now, are you not?"

I smiled as well. "I thank you. And I apologise... for everything. Can you forgive me?"

He nodded. "Of course I can. I understand you all too well. We are much the same. Our choices are the only things that separated us, and such things matter not when you are dead..."


	20. The Scond Dumbedore

**OK, so on with the next chapter. I'm having so much fun, and now it isn't late night or early morning, so enjoy this, knowing that I have no clue what it will be about. But then again, do I ever?**

**REVIEW!**

**--**

"Tom, won't you tell me what you were planning to do?" Merope. Did I really wish for her to know the worst of these things I'd done? I didn't want to hurt her.

But I don't think I was worried about her. Not really. She seemed to take everything I told her and process it painlessly. It was _me _I was concerned for. What if she no longer stood by me after she heard about the worst of it? I didn't think I could bear to lose her again. How I hated myself for risking it. But I owed it to the others, the victims of my evils, to explain. I'd promised them an explanation. And I was a man of my word.

"After that rejection, nothing. I simply sulked at the Hog's Head for hours, wishing for once that I could be someone else so that the old fool would believe me. I don't think I ever told my Death Eaters what had happened. They tried to speak to me, of course, being my Hogwarts friends, but those efforts were as useless as they always had been.

"'What's bothering you, My Lord?'

"'What did he say, Master?'

"'What happened, My Lord, and what are we to do next to bring your glorious plans forward?'

"I simply glared at them. 'The job is no longer available. He said very little, actually, but I do think he won't bother with you an time soon. He said he will say nothing more to us. I did what I intended to do, and I think... we should broaden our schemes, perhaps recruit more followers, relocate. I do like it here. We could do wonders, you know. Go, my friends, and tell the others. Nothing is bothering me, you fools!'

"Of course, these were all lies. I hadn't been able to search the castle. Dumbledore would pursue us to the ends of the Earth if we bothered anyone he knew. And something _was_ bothering me, as Dumbledore's words always did. He had mentioned a burning wardrobe and making me pay for my crimes. He was speaking of the day he'd invited me to Hogwarts, of course. But what evils, exactly, had he punished me for? I was only paying them back for the mockery they'd driven me away with, the way they were content with being alone in the world. I suppose I envied that as well. They must have had families as well, yet they never so much as considered what should have been. They were too busy being the superficial creatures they were to brood on the subject as I did. And for that I was odd. For that I was evil. For punishing them I was a criminal. It made no sense to me.

"My life had come around full circle. I wished to be alone again, away from those who followed me without a question. I had no friends, and I wasn't sooblivious that I trusted even the best of them. They were not my friends after all, not my true friends. I didn't even trust myself at times. My wand was the only thing I could trust. But recruiting them, pretending to care for them, shielded me more, made my death less likely. And death was the only thing I had left to fear, apart from love. Besides, I did like them. They were pleasantly singleminded, and seemed to absorb anything I said. To them I was almost a god. And I made them feel significant. That was all that mattered to them.

"The barman came in while I was thinking. He was a tall man with greying auburn hair and a lond beard. He wore glasses, and through them I saw saw the glittering eyes I so despised. My first thought was of Albus Dumbledore. 'I thought you said you'd say nothing more to me!'

"He looked at me as if I were insane. 'I don't think I said nothing like that. What's your business here, boy? And why are you screaming at me like that in my own pub?'

"'My apologies. I'm on a quest for the greater good. I have to put the Muggles in their rightful place. And I thougth you were Albus Dumbledore.'

"He snorted. 'Oh, him. Has he gotten you mad too? You sound like... it can't be... do you know Grindelwald?'

"'No, I'm afraid I don't. Why are you angry at Dumbledore?'

"The barman smiled a nasty smile much like my own. 'Oh, I could never stand him. Him and his perfection, his awards, his connections to _the greatest wizards alive_, his ideas of a greater world... no offense.'

"'None taken. But do tell me about those ideas of his.'

"He seemed pleased to have someone to complain to. 'Him and that Grindelwald were always talking about bringing down Muggles, hunting for Hallows, bringing forward some sort of new peaceful world, and improving wizardry.'

"I raised an eyebrow. 'Hallows, you say? What might those be?'

"'Oh, there's some legend about a wand and a stone and a cloak that can make the owner immortal or undefeatable. Rubbish, I think. It had something to do with the Peverells or something like that.'

"I looked at my ring. _That's the Peverell crest. Handed down from generations, it was. Valuble._ The legend put a smile to my face. 'Is there anything else about him you don't like?'

"'Oh, there's plenty. He was always going on about people he loved, but he always costed them more than he would have if he'd just stayed away from them. And when it comes to his plans, Albus would sacrifice thousands for his one purpose. You'll be better off not dealing with that sort.'

"I looked into the cutting blue eyes without a problem, knowing they opposed the ones they so resembled. I almost trusted this man. Probably because he felt the way I did about Dumbledore. I felt ready then, ready to face the world and carry out my knewest plans knowing that Dumbledore wasn't as selfless as he seemed. Yet he had the nerve to criticise my ideas of greatness. That sickened me. The hypocrite. And so we left when the others returned. I turned to the barman. 'Thank you for your advice and information. I see you're fond of goats. Here's enough to buy an entire farm of them.' I threw him a sack full of coins I'd saved over the years. As if money meant anything now. I could get more." I turned to face Albus. "You were just like me. You even had the same ideas. Aberforth told me, and he's your brother."

"Yes, Tom," he sighed. "Even the reasons for our thoughts were similar. Muggles made my sister go insane. My father attacked them and was sent to prison. We had to hide my sister so that she would not be taken from us. She was so quiet, so afraid of magic, that she held it in until it would burst. The Muggles made people like her, innocent wizards, despise who we are. But I saw that I was wrong. The price was Ariana's life." His eyes were shinig with tears. I felt like crying as well.

"Is it too late to pledge my loyalty to the Order of the Phoenix?" I choked.

"It's never too late, Tom. But there ia one thing I need you to do."

"Anything."

Dumbledore looked down at me, sympathy in his eyes. "You must make peace with your father."

**CLIFFHANGER, HANGING FROM A CLIFF... AND THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD REVIEW NOW! JUST HIT THAT BUTTON. IT'LL BE WORTH IT!**


	21. Compensating

"You want me to do _what?_" I hissed, not daring to believe my ears.

"Tom," he sighed, "won't you listen? This is the only thing we haven't worked on yet. And it's the most important to you. At least try, Tom. Don't you want to?"

I looked into his eyes, hoping the solution would be there. What _did_ I want, exactly? This was the thing I'd wanted so long, a solved conflict, so why did I feel so against it? Was _I _afraid of a _Muggle?_ Or was I simply afraid to speak to Tom Riddle, afraid that my worst fears would be realised? How could I do it? "I don't know, Dumbledore."

"My apologies, Tom, but I cannot speak for you. This is one thing I _cannot_ help you with. But I do think that it would be best for the both of you if you spoke to Mr. Riddle. Tom?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. For the first time in my life, I was thoughtless. "I suppose that could be benificial," I breathlessly said without really making my decision.

Albus smiled and nodded. "Excellent. I shall take the others away while you speak to your father. I am sure you would like privacy."

"That would be welcome." I nearly gasped.

Albus muttered words to the others, who began to walk away without a word. Riddle was one of them. Dumbledore stopped him with a hand, murmured something to him and began to walk away. "Where are you going?" I asked desperately.

"You wanted privacy; I am giving it to you."

"I didn't want left _alone _with him!"

"Are you afraid of what he'll do?" Albus asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I am afraid of what _I _will do! Do you not remember why he was here so early?"

Albus only smiled. "Ah, but you've changed, Tom. And if you prove me wrong, which I hope you do not... both of you are dead, so what damage could you do?" He didn't give me a chance to reply before he left.

I only stared at Tom for some time, taking in the flawless features I knew I now had without really paying attention to the actual expression on his face. I wanted to stay silent for as long as I could, to stand there without hearing his wretched voice in my ears. I wanted to stand there and listen to his pleas without caring a bit. But that would never happen. I wanted so badly to forgive his every human error, to send him back to Earth, but yet I wanted to throw him to the ground and tell him how I loathed him and what he made me and what a waste of time he had been and all of those things I had thought over the years.

But I could do neither. I, Lord Voldemort, the strongest dark wizard who had ever lived, was afraid of a Muggle I had killed decades ago. How very ironic.

"So..."

I merely narrowed my eyes. "So?"

"Where should we begin?"

As if it mattered to me. Every part would be just as terrible regardless of when I heard them. "It matters not. But they will not come back until we settle this, so we may as well get this over with."

"My name is Tom Riddle."

"I know your name very well; it haunted me my entire life."

"Well, then..." He looked as resigned as I felt.

"Start with Merope, then. That's where this entire catastrophe began, wasn't it? My mother and her family. Ii shall be interested to hear your explanation for _this. _I shall know if you are lying."

He looked into my eyes, but quickly looked away. I was thankful for that; I didn't want to see the man's eyes any more than I wanted to hear his words come from his mouth. "They were different, the Gaunts. Strange. Nobody ever wanted to consort with them, especially my family. We had a reputation. And that Morfin had been insane. What sort of man hangs snakes on the frame of his door? Nobody wanted that. And then there was Marvolo, always barking orders and going on and on about theur perfect lineage. I never did understand that; if they came from honourable people, why did they live like they did?

"I didn't care much to think about them. In fact, I can't remember much about Merope. That makes a bit of sense. She never seemed to talk much, just did what her father told her to. She was a pitiful thing. But that wasn't my concern. I had my own problems. And if anyone had known that I felt sorry for her, my reputation would have gone down the drain.

"Morfin and Marvolo got sent to prison somewhere. That made more gossip. If you can imagine that. Anyone who saw Merope asked her about what crime they'd convicted, where they were sent, but I don't think she ever said much. I stopped by her house one summer day while nobody was aware of me to offer my sympathies. She was polite, almost too polite, really, and offered me a drink. And being the fool that I was, I drank it. I can't explain what I felt when I drank, but I remember this: the moment Merope came back from her home, I felt an insatiable love for her."

I considered his words. "Amortentia."

"What?"

"It's the most powerful of all love potions. Merope gave you a love potion."

"And you still expect me to love her!"

I nodded. "How could you not love her? I don't think I've known a better person. And she cared about you. But do you honestly think she's a criminal for giving you that potion when you never so much as thought of her as a person without it?"

His eyes widened. "I saw her as a person!"

"_Lies!_" I growled at him. _"If she had not given you that potion, you would have passed her by without a second thought. And she loved you! She was decent! Not like the woman you courted. And what of your leaving her? What of your son?"_ I nearly spat the question at him.

"Do you think that I knew?"

"Oh, I think you did. You just did not want to admit having a son with Merope. Because of what they would _think. _Your kind are always the same, so selfish, so superficial."

"And you are the same."

"I did what I thought was right for wizardkind. I wasn't the first to try those theories. And who do you think led me to believe such things, _Riddle?"_

He sighed. "I didn't want to have a child that was a freak like Morfin."

"But I was not. I was perfect. I had everything. Everyone loved me. But not you. You couldn't so much as send a letter to your _son. _But I could not be your son. Surely not. You didn't deserve someone as talented, as brilliant and promising as me as your son. If you _had_ retrieved me and I _was_ exactly like Morfin, you would have deserved it. But that would be different. After all, you didn't come. But that is neither here nor there. The damage is done."

He watched me warily. "But I created you. You exist because of me!"

"Do not remind me. Do you know what you made me?" I let him see through memories the reflection of what I had been, the monster with the slit nostrils, the red eyes, the bony fingers, the red catlike eyes. And the way I sneered at the screams and begs of my victims. I let him see the worst of my crimes: the attempted murder of the innocent Potter baby. "Do you see why I cannot love you? You made me into what I was! You turned me into THAT! I cannot go another day now without wishing that I had NOT existed, so that those many people I killed could have lived! They had futures! What have I DONE? You have destroyed me. I wish to be gone! I want the oblivion that should come after death! Why can I not have it? Is this my punishment?"

I began to shake uncontrollably, and the expression on Riddle's face turned into fear. "Do you need help?"

"I want it not!" I bellowed, letting myself suffer. Everything flashed through my head, all of my sins and evils. I regretted all of them.

"I'm sorry!" I heard Riddle croak.

"What do your apologies do for me? I do not need your hollow words."

Tears stained his cheeks. "If I could change what I did, I would. Please, forgive me. Even if I don't deserve it. Let me try to make up for what I've done."

I stared at him. If only I could have had some fragment of what I had been to override my conscious, to tell me that I would only be hurt more. But Lord Voldemort was gone. I wanted to forgive, to forget my old life. I wanted a family. And even after all the hatred, all the bitterness that had surfaced over time, I still needed to have Tom Riddle as my father. I wanted to.

The tears came once more.

"How are you going to compensate?" I choked.

"You'll see. I don't even know if it's possible, but that old man is sure to know."

I smiled. "Of course he does. He knows everything. Tell me what you're planning, Riddle."

He only shook his head. "It's a surprise. But I'm sure you'll like it. It's the ultimate gift. And please, call me Tom."

**A/N: Yeah! Finally, I got it written! Sorry, but I've been playing games and posting in the forums. R&R, especially if your name is Rhia and you're in Alabama! It gets better, especially the last chapter!**


	22. Death Eating

**A/N: There may be a bit of jumping here, but that's just because I'm only touching on things that are actually important. And if anyone from the forum ever reads this... poor you. This fic is almost an obsession now. But anyways, thank you for the reviews. Now I can update. Enjoy this random chapter.**

**--**

"What else do you want me to tell you?" I asked them, exhausted. Why did I feel so listless? Because I'd done so much in so little time? Or because I was simply tired of the old memories? Despite the mental exhaustion, a new feeling had washed over me, an unfamiliar feeling. What as it? Surely not just triumph? It was almost as if the pain were... leaving, almost... gone.

"Are you alright, Tom?" I simply smiled. The concern in their voices was beautiful as it never had been before, and I realised that it was because they were showing concern _for_ _me._

"Mother, dear, I'm better than I've ever been. I was just... thinking."

Severus glared at me through his expressionless black eyes. If only he could be transformed as well, if only he could feel what I was feeling. But then, perhaps he was. Perhaps he was merely afraid to show it. I could understand that. I even felt sorry for him, knowing that he might not ever consort with his father and get the explanation he so deserved. Well, I could fix that, could I not? "Can you just tell about whatever you did next?"

"I didn't really do all that much after that. I gave orders, of course, but the Death Eaters were doing most of the work at that point. They recruited people, they killed the less important people, they located our enemies. They did everything that wasn't worth my time and effort. And England's citizens were very responsive to our... purpose. We had so many pure, honourable wizards join us. The Blacks, the Dolohovs, the Crabbes and the Goyles... all were families that joined me. My most loyal followers. Or so I thought. Some weren't as trustworthy as I had thought them. But that doesn't concern us at this time. What I need to do, is-"

I heard a loud _thud _and turned to see what had caused the noise. I saw only a shadow. "What-"

Dumbledore watched the shadow as if expecting something to pop out of it. "Someone else has arrived," he explained.

"Someone died?"

"That is the purpose of this place, to harbour the souls of the dead."

"I'm aware of that, Severus!" I hissed. "Who is it?"

Dumbledore narrowed his eyes. "I can't be sure, but if I'm not mistaken, it's your friend Bellatrix."

I groaned; she was the last person I wanted to see during my recovery. She could only make me become the monster I had been, and that was anything but welcome. After all I'd dealt with, after all my progress, some follower was not going to appear and ruin it. I watched her intently, a new anger filling me.

"Be careful, Tom. You cannot bring yourself back to those old ways just because you fear for your future. Face this in the way you faced everything else. You can do this correctly."

"Perhaps I can. Albus. But you could be wrong. I could be very wrong in my way of solving things. She's a very devoted Death Eater..."

"But does she know the things you've told us?"

"Not unless she heard us talking, but-"

"Then why worry? You can do this, Tom. I know that you can. You've changed."

I looked into his depthful blue eyes and found that he was not lying; he truly believed that I could face her. I decided not to argue; if I were to let him down, I would be failing myself as well. "I'll speak to her if she notices us."

"She'll notice us. Or rather, she'll notice _you. _She seems to be in love with you."

I didn't believe him. How could anyone be in love with a selfish, soulless shell like the one I had been? And she was married, wasn't she? Nobady could possibly love Lord Voldemort... "Surely you're joking?"

He shook his head. That smile of his spread across his face. "See for yourself, now that you are no longer blind."

She stood very slowly, almost as if trying to be sure that she could do it. I saw her face: the dark complexion, the heavy lids covering the dark eyes, the strong jaw. Her dark hair was the same dark mass it had been when I'd last seen her, though all traces of grey were fading. All signs of age, in fact were gone. Like me, she was young again. But the Dark Mark still was etched into the skin of her left arm, serving as a reminder of my every wrong. She seemed to sense my presence.

"My Lord?" she called, her voice softer than it had been. "Can you hear me? I know you're here." She glanced in all directions, but she looked for Lord Voldemort. I was now the Riddle man, someone she'd never before seen. But she knew Dumbledore. And she most certainly knew Severus. And she saw Severus. I'd never seen a Death Eater run so fast.

"Snape! Where is the Dark Lord?" she gasped, breathless.

"Lord Voldemort is gone," Albus told her, his eyes looking at me. She scowled.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM, DUMBLEDORE?"

"I did little. He did most of it to himself. I must say, I am amazed that he did so much in so little time..." Bellatrix followed the gaze of the delicate blue eyes, and her eyes fell on me as well. I suddenly felt nervous when I felt their eyes on me. I lowered my gaze.

I heard her footsteps and knew that she was approaching me. I raised my gaze to see her eyes studying me. "My Lord?" she croaked, refusing to believe what she saw.

"Bellatrix. I go by my old name now. Call me Tom. And please, don't give Albus a hard time. He's done so much for me."

Her jaw fell. She couldn't believe the things I'd said, couldn't believe I'd talked to her as if she were an old friend. "T-Tom? W-what changed about you? You seem-"

"Different?" I smiled at her, not the smile she would remember, but the new smile that I hoped would resemble the smile Albus always had, or the smile the Weasley boy had... A human smile, anyway. I was becoming somewhat human, was I not? "I have changed, Bellatrix."

She merely nodded. Words failed her, I think. But I wouldn't let her astonishment stop me. "I wanted you to meet somebody. Bellatrix, this is my mother, Merope Gaunt, and Tom Riddle Sr. Merope, Tom, this is Bellatrix, who is a loyal member of the _group_ I was speaking of."

I watched her gape at Merope and Tom, not knowing what to think. Merope smiled. Was there no end to her kindness toward people who were friendly toward me? "It's wonderful to meet you, but I do wish that dear Tom would continue what he was doing..."

I said nothing. Bellatrix shifted her eyes to me. "What were you doing, My Lord?"

"Explaining my reasoning to them. You've missed the most crucial points. It's going to be impossible for you to understand without knowing the first parts. I really do not feel like re-explaining for you, so just sit and listen. Ask what you will." She nodded.

"My focus was still on the Horcruxes, of course, but why should that be my only concern? I had followers now, people who followed my every command, people who could do my work for me. This could go much further than vengeance. This could be a new world, a world I, Lord Voldemort, would control. The urge to push further was insatiable. And taking just the ones I needed for the Horcruxes wasn't enough to assuage me anymore. I needed more, much more, and I could finally have whatever I wanted. I cannot say that I didn't take advantage of that newly discovered power.

"While they did everything I asked them to, I went about recruiting. My persuasion skills were anything but wasted. The trolls, the werewolves, the giants... all could assist me in some way or another, and I could give them the equality they'd always longed for. They joined me almost immediately, risking everything so that they could have what they felt they deserved. Their reasons didn't matter to me, as long as they supported my cause. At that point, I am not sure that my own reasons even mattered. All I knew was that I wanted the murder. I wanted to see the lights leave their eyes, to hear the noise of them falling after the curse hit them. Their _screams_ were _heaven _to me..."

I stopped, shuddering at my own words. Bellatrix was staring at me with awe in her eyes, but there was something else as well; affection? I'd never before seen that, but when I remembered her face the eyes were the same. But she admired me for the evils I'd committed so easily, the many murders that went without a regard. Her admiration disgusted me.

"Perhaps what I was doing was wrong, and perhaps it was sick, but those things no longer mattered. My cause was my only concern, and I only thought about myself. Nothing else really mattered. I still thought of Merope or Tom or the orphanage every now and again, but I tried not to let my thoughts rest on them. I needed my focus. And I needed to hide my Horcruxes before some unworthy person touched them. There had to be a meaning to those hiding places, however. My Horcruxes wouldn't be hidden just anywhere. So I left Lucius and Avery in charge until my return. They asked no questions, merely bid me farewell and wished me luck.

"I hid the ring in the house of Gaunt, which was the place I'd gotten it and the place where such an artifact truly belonged. The diadem was already in Hogwarts, the place I'd gained the knowledge of what I was and what I could be. I gave my diary to Lucius, one of my most trusted followers and one of the best examples of "pure". Bellatrix Lestrange was to place Hepzibah's cup in her Gringott's vault, where it would be hidden under the same level of security Hepzibah herself had used to guard it.

"The locket, which still made me think of nothing but Merope, was hidden deep within a cave I'd visited during my stay at the orphanage, which symbolised the fact that she was forever gone. That was my most treasured Horcrux, I think.

"My last Horcrux was a snake by the name of Nagini. She always stayed by my side. That symbolised the piece of me that still remained, the small bit of Tom Riddle that I always hid within me. I do not think I thought of her as the animal she was. She was to me what the basilisk had been, a piece of me that had been hidden for so long that I wanted more than anything. So it was fitting that I kept her cared for.

"For some time none of them could have guessed what I was really doing. I suppose they didn't really care, as long as they had someone to serve. They didn't guess that I would kill every one of them if it meant saving myself, they didn't realise that I wouldn't grieve if they died. None of the Death Eaters knew how very disposable they were. Of course, there were some I truly enjoyed having around, the ones I would protect if I could. Bellatrix, Lucius, Yaxley. I cannot say that I loved the way men with souls love their friends, but I would have missed their company if they would have died. But their lives had no real value compared to my own.

"But one of them _did_ find out about my Horcruxes. Regulus Black. young though he was, the boy seemed to have a knack for understanding things quite quickly. And he somehow found my Horcrux and got past all of the traps and obstacles I'd set! He stole the Horcrux, he stole the locket! My only reminder of Merope was gone, because of _him!_

"Some time later I found that he'd stolen my Horcrux. He'd been taken by the Inferi, which were there to keep the Horcrux safe. But still the Horcrux was gone. Someone else had taken it. Surely this upsets you, Bellatrix?"

She shook her head. "He got what was coming to him! The filth! My Lord, anyone that interrupts your plans deserves to die! They'll rot in hell for it!"

I lifted a hand to silence her. "He deserved nothing of the sort. He was killed because he almost destroyed a Horcrux I shouldn't have created. How is that right?"

"If My Lord wishes him dead-"

"But he didn't _need_ to die! He had his entire life ahead of him! Don't you see that? Bellatrix, they say that you loved me. Did you love me, or my actions? Both have changed."

"I love you for whatever you are. Even if you've changed, I still love you. My Lord-"

"My name is Tom. I've chaged. Everything about me is different. And I still don't love you. I can't love a Death Eater. Not now. Perhaps if you change..."

The tears came to her. The sobs came and she fell to her knees, gasping questions. How could I not love her, what had she done wrong, what could she do to make it better? I grabbed her wrists and pulled her to her feet. I wrapped my arms around her to calm her. "You have to change your thinking. I acted wrong. My reasons -all of them- were wrong. But I'm fixing my mind. And you can too. For now, just listen to me, or perhaps Albus can help you..."

**Sorry it took so long, but I had other things to do. And that was my best idea. What a shame. R&R!**


	23. The Dark Lord Defeated

I was shaking by the end of that ordeal. I don't think I wanted to go on. But I'd made a promise. Before that went on, however, I had other duties... "Albus, would you like to help me with something?"

"I might, Tom, I might. What did you have in mind?"

"A bit of an intervention, I think. I could help the others the way you helped me. What do you think?" I couldn't help but smile.

"That's an excellent idea, Tom. I think I would be glad to help you. But I have to ask the rest of them to leave." He nodded toward the crowd of people who had been listening to me. There had been so many of them: Tom, Merope, Severus, Lily, Lupin, Black, Weasley, along with a few I didn't recognise. They began to leave.

"Severus, I'm afraid you have to stay," Albus called to him. He stocked his way over to us, wearing the same frustrating, unreadable expression on his face. Bellatrix watched him as well, not sure what to think. It was time to change them, before it was too late.

"You are here because we feel that there is some flaw deep within you that can be changed. Both of you are wonderful people... but both of you need severe help. We'll start with you, Severus, as I think it shall be easier to see your problems. I think I see the core of it already. We're not so different, you and I. We both wanted the same things, to an extent. The power, I mean. And our mothers went through a lot of trouble, didn't they, because of our Muggle fathers. But you never said that to anyone, did you? I know how these things work, Severus. They control who we are. But that needs to change. Albus, would you... Oh, you've already brought them here. I see. I'd like you to talk to your parents, Severus, as I did mine, and then I'd like you to go and talk to Lily Potter. Can you do that?"

He nodded and beckoned his parents away from me, leading them to a more secluded area. "This isn't as difficult as I imagined it. That leads us to you, Bellatrix. I think I know what's caused your thoughts to be the way they are, but I can't be sure. Will you allow me passage into your memories?"

She smiled. "Of course." I placed my hands on her shoulders, closed my eyes, and looked into the mind of the woman who loved me for what I was, whatever that was. Her first thoughts and memories and thoughts were of me. I was surprised by the intensity of them. But I dove deeper, and soon I found visions of her childhood. I was swimming through memories of her first wizarding experiences, her family parties, the things her parents taught her...

_"Bella, dear, you have to remember never to trust a Muggle. They're filth. They'll steal from you and get you in trouble. They'll treat you wrong. They're not like us, do you understand that? All they are, those Muggles, are things that block the way for people like us. We can't be ourselves because of them. Your daddy got into trouble because of them. Don't even touch them. Understood?"_

_I nod. I never got in trouble because I played with Emily, but my mum was telling me she was bad. And why would my mum lie to me? She only wanted the best for me. And if people like my neighbors -Mudbloods, Aunt Walburga had called them- got us into trouble and made us hide away like our house elves, then why would I want to be around them. I guess their blood was dirty after all. I'd have to tell Sirius and Cissy what I'd learned, for surely they'd listen? But Andy would never listen, that girl never did. She didn't belong, not like I did..._

I resurfaced. Shuffling through memories had always been like diving into a lake. The oldest memories were at the bottom. So on the way up I could see every crime she'd committed, every day she'd given up just to please me... I'd have to make that up to her.

"I know what you've been taught, Bella, but you have to forget those things. They don't matter. Muggles aren't bad people. They're just like us, only they don't have the powers we have. If anything, you should feel sorry for them, because they don't have what you and I have. And because si many people hate them. There are good ones too, just like there are good and bad wizards. Please understand that. None of them deserved to die. They don't try to harm us; they just fear what they can't explain. Do you understand that?"

She nodded, eyes shining with tears. "You called me Bella..."

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I was trying to establish, Bellatrix..."

"Oh, I heard you, Tom. And I understand. They're not bad. I can get that through my head, if you believe it. If you know it, I'll accept it. I guess I see your point. Sorry, I just..."

I nodded. "Albus told me all I needed to know. Just give me time to recover from all I've been through, and I swear I'll repay you somehow. Please just remember what I told you."

"I swear I'll do it. I'd do anything for you."

"Good. Then my job is done. I have to tell the rest of my story now, though."

Albus trudged toward me, followed by my audience. "I thought you would be finished by now."

"Your timing is impeccable. Rumour reached me, as it always did, that Dumbledore was interviewing a relative of a great Seer for the post of Divination teacher. I rarely cared about the old man's actions, but that one caught my eye. Did he think that she would give him an advantage in this war we were fighting? Did he hope to get information of my whereabouts from her? I sent one of my most clever Death Eaters, Severus Snape, to the Hog's Head (which I still adored despite the many goats the barman kept there) to listen to the interview and give me the information.

"He told me of a prophecy of a boy born at the end of July who could trouble me, a boy whose parents had twice escaped me. There were two possible answers to this prophecy: Neville Longbottom, a pureblood, and Harry Potter, a halfblood. I saw the promise in Potterm the one who had my lineage, the one who surely had as much promise as I'd had. I would destroy him. I would kill the boy.

"Close to this time another man had joined our ranks, a fat man by the name of Peter Pettigrew. He resembled a rat in many ways, he was a scared piece of work, he wasn't the most competant wizard I'd seen, but surely I'd find some use of him. And if I did not... well he was just as disposable as the rest of them were. He came to me one night, babbling on about my brilliance -as if the Lestranges did not already do that- and suddenly slurred the location of the Potters. I was ecstatic.

"I came to Godric's Hollow on Halloween night, so sure of my victory. The door wasn't locked. That made things so much easier. The man saw me first. The wizard. He grabbed his wand.

"'_Lily, take Harry and RUN!'_ His intentions were noble, but that only angered me more. As if my father would have done that for me. I would never know. And this boy, he would never know either, unless he understood the man's screams. I killed him almost instantly. But Severus wanted me to keep the woman alive. I wanted to do that for him, as he was the one who had given me the prophecy in the first place. And it wasn't her I needed to kill. I needed her son. But she wouldn't have that.

_"'Not Harry, please not Harry, kill me instead!' _Her screams were agony. Merope. They reminded me of my dear lost Merope, the one who could not live and breathe even for me.

"'Step aside, silly girl.' It was life I offered her, life that I'd offered no other human, yet she did not accept! Why did she not want my gift? Why would she not step aside?

"'AVADA KEDAVRA!' She fell. And there was the little Harry Potter, lying in his crib, so vulnerable. He would be with his Muggle mother soon enough. There would be no pain for him.

"'Avada Kedavra!' I whispered, but the curse did not kill him. A green jet seemed to bounce off of him, and it hit me, knocking me backward. I was defeated. I ran to the shadows in my withered form, ran from the ruined house, ran to hide until I could rise again... The Dark Lord would return, and he would defeat that boy."


	24. The Sorcerer's Stone

**OK, so I plan to write around ten more chapters of his story, and then things will end in the way I've planned. Remember, this is AU (well, I always thought so), so the ending will be something that MAY NOT GO WITH THE END OF DH. You'll see what I mean, in good time.**

Merope stared wide-eyed at me. "You killed a child, Tom?"

"I tried. But it did not work. I suppose that attempted murder is the same as murder, though I can't say I really saw the evil in either crime at that moment. Though I didn't know it then, my soul had been split again. I was nearly soulless. I saw no evil... But what was evil to me at that moment? A necessary act that could give me power? Or an excuse for others to try to put an end to my cause? It certainly wasn't some great dark thing that appalled me.

"It didn't matter by then. I was withered, and I was hiding. I had to grow stronger somehow, but there was no way to do it. Unless... Unless I could find some way to save myself. And there were so many ways to salvage a body. That was what I needed- a way to move and track down that Potter brat and show him what it meant to oppose _Lord Voldemort_. And after he was taken... I could move to larger things that were more worthy of my time. Like taking back what had been mine before.

"But how had the boy defeated me? I had been the Darkest, most powerful wizard of the age, and he had been a mere boy with nothing special about him! It made no sense at all! There was no charm I knew that could have protected the boy, no branch of magic that could counteract a killing curse. What had it been, then? Imagine what my Death Eaters had thought when they heard of me falling to a mere boy... I shuddered at the thought. But surely they were looking for me, surely the seeked the man the were led by? As if I could still call myself a man. Men are human creatures with souls and doubts and judgements of right and wrong. I only had my ager and those old memories of what being human felt like.

"You must understand how very difficult it is for me to remember these things. I was in a strange state of mind during the murders, and even afterward I did not truly see my surroundings. I was simply alive, if you can call that soulless existance a life, and nothing else mattered. I could no longer see the details I had before, but I could not notice. Without the missing parts of me, I surely would have missed seeing what I had seen as a child. I can see these things now, of course, perhaps beter than I ever did. And it almost shatters the very fiber of my being to remember committing such evils. And yet... It didn't make a difference then. Nothing made a difference. Everything simply... was.

"One day I saw a man wandering through the forests of Albania (which was where I rested). He was stuttering to himself about the horrors of the forest, and he smelled strongly of garlic. Another man with dreams of good and evil. I would talk some since into him. His body, his human form, would become... mine. I cannot tell you how it was done -that would be an entire century of explanation just in the mechanics of it- but I became part of him. I told him of real power, the force that to me overpowered love. He ate every word I told him, and he eagerly agreed to serve me. I promised him power when I rose again... but he didn't know that I often broke my promises if I thought it right.

"He took me back to England. I tested my limits a bit, telling him what to do and say, nearly controlling him. He wore a turbin to hide my face, which was on the back of his head. How I hhated that wrtched turbin, but it was necessary. And nobody suspected that behind this man's turbin was Lord Voldemort. Even Dumbledore didn't know... But he did suspect something. He had the Sorcerer's Stone moved, you see, the day before I broke into the vault. But he had it hidden in Hogwarts. And this man was a teacher. He had the job I'd wanted. Everything was too perfect. And Harry Potter would be mine. This time, I would not fail. The Dark Lord would rise once more.

"And I would have that stone. I was drinking unicorn blood to stay alive, but it kept me in the same sort of half life I'd grown tired of. Quirrell had set a trap to keep the stone safe, along with the other teachers. I could get past all of them. If I could just distract the others... Especially Severus. He was at Hogwarts as well, teaching Potions. And while he didn't know that I was with him, he showed an immediate dislike for Quirrell. It was irksome, and I cannot say that it did not create a barrior. I needed him gone.

"We did it on Halloween night. We set a troll loose as a diversion. Everyone raced toward the dungeons to fight the troll while we went to the third floor... But he was there as well! The three-headed dog had his leg, so we escaped. I tried to kill the brat during a Quidditch match, but Snape was there muttering his countercurses. As if he could stifle the power of Lord Voldemort. If only his robes hadn't caught on fire and blocked my sight of Potter... But I would have him. I would do whatever it took. But Harry Potter would be mine.

"Dumbledore left the castle at last -urgent business. And nobody would listen to Potter's suspicions, if he was clever enough to have any. It was time to take the stone, return to my original form, and get the boy. I could pass every challenge that blocked the stone with ease. It wasn't as if I didn't know what to expect, not as if I hadn't planned my methods the entire year. And the Mirror that showed my deepest desire -that would be the key. It would show me the stone. I stood before it, free of the turbin, and watched myself toy with the stone. But where was it? There weren't numerous hiding places in the empty room. Then the Potter boy showed up. He would be the key. He would bring me back to life. And then I would kill him.

"I saw in his mind that he saw the stone in the Mirror. He denied it, of course, he was too young to even know about the art of seeing into minds. I revealed myself to him, told my story of return, told him to give me the stone. I promised him power. The boy didn't want power, I saw that. I saw the faces of his mother and father, the family he'd never known. _Why should you have yours if I cannot have mine? _a voice within me growled. But I could use that shard of information. We could bring them back, I said, we could make them proud, him and I. He nearly gave in. Potter was quite a fighter. In the end he refused. There was only one other option -force.

"We dove for him. Our fingers tightened around his throat. He tried to force us away... Breaking. Our fingers were breaking away from our hands! We could not touch him! Why could we not touch him? I was befuddled. Quirrell was to preoccupied with his human pain to think anything of the boy. I was to leave this body if I was to live... and so I was me again. No longer did we move together. He was Quirrell, and I was a mass of soul, the only remains of the once great Lord Voldemort. But I would not give up. I would come back. His life would be mine. And things would be the way they were supposed to be... mine."


	25. The Chamber of Secrets

**Sorry this took so long, but I had so many other things to do. Voldemort and Harry's talk both in the diary and the Chamber are from the British version of Chamber of Secrets, which I was luckyy enough to acquire. Well, the internal thoughts and the afterlife things are mine. Enjoy. **

**"**So the child beat you again?"

"Of course he did. I was more enraged than I'd been the first time, but now I find it quite amusing. Of course, I've changed. Now I can see how truly oblivious I was. But that is neither here nor there. I still have more to tell you, and I'd rather end this as quickly as I possibly can. Are there any questions you'd like to ask before I begin?"

Nobody said anything, but a man made his way through my crowd of spectators. His face was monkeylike, and from it hung a beard that swept the shoes he wore. I knew the face immediately, though I'd never met the man. "Salazar Slytherin..."

"Yes." His voice wasn't what I'd imagined it to be, but then, I hadn't imagined it at all. I nearly laughed when I heard him speaking. He'd been my master, my creator, my inspiration, he who had done so much for the purest of wizards. And there he stood, this ancient, ugly creature who hadn't the slightest clue what I had done in his name. I did laugh then. He simply glowered at me.

"What is so funny to you?" he snapped, thinking I was some foolish boy who found his demeaner amusing. Perhaps I was just that.

"You don't know? There is so much I have seen, so much I have done because of what _you_ thought! I let your actions lead me, and I became blind to reality! I must say that I idolised you, even worshipped you at times! I knew nothing of you but what I'd heard and what I read, but you were pure and I was descended from your blood! And so I continued your work that I thought so noble, my every action was in your name, and now I am dead and I see you! I found that you are just as hideous as I was, and that you probably have not changed at all! And with those observations came the largest fragment of truth I've spoken in my entire existance: THERE WAS NO MEANING TO ANY OF IT!"

My screams made him flinch. He, the great Slytherin, had feared that I, a mere wizard, would harm him. His terror only angered me further. "Show some dignity! Are you not the great Salazar Slytherin? You have the nerve to stand before me like this, after all I've done? Perhaps, even after the crimes I've committed, you are not a better man than I have been. You are no better than I. In fact, I should think that I have changed more in this short amount of time than you have in a thousand years! However, I thank you for making me what I was, whatever that may have been. I think it may be time to tell about my return to that chamber of yours..."

I grimaced at the thought of the Horcruxes. "Another year was beginning at Hogwarts, and I was fragmented once more. I admit that it was irksome to be trapped in my own thoughts without any escape or a body to act with, but there was no point in dwelling upon it. Ispent most of my time thinking of new ways to return, and to have my vengeance on that Potter boy. I needed him out of my way.

"I was drawn into a new form without attempting to make one. I cannot explain the rejuvination to you any more than I could explain the concept of evil if you have not experienced it, but I can tell you that coming back was like awakening from a deep sleep. My senses returned -not fully, you understand. I could see my surroundings and smell the musty air and hear sounds if there were any, but it was if there was some barrior blocking me from completely experiencing those things as a living human would. Of course, I was not alive. I had abody that could move, but it was not alive. And I recognised my location almost immediately. I was in the Chamber of Secrets.

"I knew from seeing my reflection in the water on the floor that I looked like my sixteen-year-old self, which meant that the diary had brought me back. But how was that possible? Had Lucius brought the diary back without my permission? That had to be the explanation. I could be angry some other time; at the moment I was focused on returning from the state I was in. I found my solution in a foolish first year girl. She was very keen on writing in my diary. And I could answer her, persuade her to do my job for me. I could do that so easily.

"'_Dear Tom, I'm glad that you aswered me. I don't think anyone understands me like you do. Can you keep a secret?_ I was reminded of Hepzibah Smith. Well, that was ironic, but that could guarantee my sucess. Yes, I could keep a secret. I was quite good at keeping secrets, particularly my own.

"'_I think I'm in love, Tom. But he would never like me, ever. I'm just some girl who's his friend's sister, and he's the greatest wizard in the world! Harry Potter could never like me...'_

"After so many days of my patience, I'd finally found something. This girl knew Harry Potter. Perhaps the brat could lead me to him. _Harry Potter?_

"'_You'd love him, Tom, I just know you would! He defeated You-Know-Who!'_

_"_I scowled. How highly she spoke of him. The fool. I couldn't help but reply acidly. '_I like him already...'_ Of course, she didn't see my sarcasm. She was too distracted by her own thoughts.

"It wasn't as if I actually cared about what became of the girl. She was just as disposable as any of my minions had been. And my purpose was more important than her useless little life. So I used her. I poured my soul into her, told her what to do without her knowledge. She performed well, and for some time she noticed nothing. I couldn't have wanted more from her. That is, until she realised what was happening. She panicked. She tried to dispose of the diary. As if my Horcruxes would ever go away.

"I grew more frustrated as I realised what she had done. But then someone was writing in my diary once more, and better yet, the writer was the person I'd been most anxious to meet. _'My name is Harry Potter.'_

"Actions failed me for a split second. What was there to do? I could not use the boy as he was already suspected, but I could surely meet him somehow. I decided I would have to gain the boy's trust, make him think that I was on his side. '_Hello, Harry Potter. My name is Tom Riddle. How did you come by my diary?'_ I cringed at my birthname, but it was not as if I could introduce myself as Lord Voldemort and win him over.

"_'Someone tried to flush it down a toilet.'_ I laughed. What a pathetic attempt to be rid of me.

"'_Lucky I recorded my memories in some more lasting way than ink. But I always knew that there would be those who would not want this diary read.'_ I grinned at the unmistakable Horcrux reference. If only dear, dear Salazar Slytherin could see what I had done, he would be proud beyond all measure...

"'_What do you mean?'_

_"'I mean that this diary holds memories of terrible things. Things which were covered up. Things which happened at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'_

_"'That's where I am now. I'm at Hogwarts, and horrible stuff's been happening. Do you know anything zbout the Chamber of Secrets?'_

_"_I lay on my stomach on the Chamber floor, the water not affecting my ghostlike form. I laughed, and my laughter echoed at a almost deafening volume off the Chamber walls. He would have cringed if he knew all I knew about the Chamber. I'd have to tell him all I could to cover my own maniacal research and memory of the place. He mustn't know that I was in the Chamber, or that I had so much as seen the entrance.

"'_Of course I know about the Chamber of Secrets. In my day, they told us it was a legend, that it did not exist. But this was a lie. In my fifth year, the Chamber was opened and the monster attacked several students, finally killing one. I caught the person who'd opened the Chamber and he was expelled. But the Headmaster, Professor Dippett, ashamed that such a thing had happened at Hogwarts, forbade me to tell the truth. A story was given out that the girl had died in a freak accident. They gave me a nice, shiny, engraved trophy for my trouble and warned me to keep my mouth shut. But I knew that it could happen again. The monster lived on, and the one who had the power to release it was not imprisoned.' _

"I had to smile. Of course I had not been imprisoned. And Hagrid was a perfect candidate for the master of the Chamber. He must have believed me by that point. '_It's happening again now. There have been three attacks and no one seems to know who's behind them. Who was it last time?'_

"I smirked when I saw how very vulnerable he was. Too honest, probably, and he thought I would be the same. But then, he'd probably seen the records and the trophy and known that my record was spotless. My efforts had not been wasted. _'I can show you, if you like. You don't have to take my word for it. I can take you inside my memory of the night when I caught him.'_

"I waited for his reply, but none came. Did the boy not know what I meant? _'Let me show you.'_

"His reply came. _'OK.'_

"At last I had him. I let him see my memory, let him see that my meeting with Professor Dippett, and then I led him to my capture of Hagrid. I watched from a distance as he soaked in what I saw, and realised that he _believed it. He believed that Hagrid had opened the Chamber! _He, like so many others, had thought my flawless charade to be the truth. He had no more than average intelligence, then. So how had he defeated me yet again?

"I waited for a reply, hoping to get to know Potter's deepest secrets. But it was the girl again, asking what I'd told Potter, begging me not to harm him... Well, she wasn't the first one whose pleading had been ineffective. It was time for me to rise again, and it was time to get the little girl out of the way for good. I took control of her once more. She write her own farewell on the wall and came to me. She lay on the floor dying, and I stood against the statue of my Slytherin Father, growing stronger and more... alive.

"Potter entered the Chamber in a matter of hours, just as I thought he would. His focus was on the girl, whose death was coming upon her. He begged her to wake up. He didn't even notice the shimmering boy that was Tom Marvolo Riddle standing feet from him. I grabbed his abandonned wand from the floor as I approached him. 'She won't wake,' I told him in the same voice I'd used so many years ago to charm Hepzibah Smith.

"He jumped at the sound of my voice and swiveled on his knees to see the source of the voice he'd heard. His eyes widened. 'Tom - Tom _Riddle?'_

"I nodded, taking my time to study him. His black hair was sticking up in every direction, and under the glasses he wore were a set of emerald green eyes, just like his mother's. The skin was fair, though not as ashen as my own. This was my enemy. A mere boy. But then, I was only sixteen years old in this new form I had taken. He was obviously clueless about my rebirth.

"'Are you a ghost?'

"'A memory,' I answered in my quiet human voice. 'Preserved in a diary for fifty years.' I daren't tell him how that had happened. I pointed at my diary.

"'You've got to help me, Tom. We've got to get her out of here. There's a basilisk... I don't know where it is, but it could be along at any moment. Please, help me...' I stood completely still. He managed to hoist the girl up, but he went to pick up his wand, which I was twirling absently. 'Did you see-'

"He looked at my hand that held the wand. 'Thanks,' he said, reaching for the wand. I smiled at him, holding the wand in my fingers. He thought I was helping him. How very wrong he was. 'Listen, _we've got to go! _If the basilisk comes...' He said this all with the utmost urgency. I almost felt the urge to help him, but then I remembered that he was my enemy.

"'It won't come until it's called,' I told him calmly. He dropped the girl, unable to hold her weight.

"'What d'you mean? Look, give me my wand, I might need it.'

"My smile widened at his dismay. 'You won't be needing it.'

"He simply stared at me. 'What d'you mean, I won't be-?'

"'I've waited a long time for this, Harry Potter. For the chance to see you. To speak to you.' Images flashed through my mind, images of the many years I'd spent in existance with neither body nor soul, waiting to have one simple question answered. He clearly didn't see that in the face of Tom Riddle.

"'Look, I don't think you get it. We're in the _Chamber of Secrets. _We can talk later.'

"The boy didn't know who he spoke to. I had waited long enough for this moment, and I was not going to let it slip from my grasp. 'We're going to talk now.' The smile didn't leave me. I placed the boy's wand in my pocket. He stared at me, suspicious.

"'How did Ginny get like this?' he asked, trying to put the pieces together.

"'Well, that's an interesting question. And quite a long story. I suppose the real reason Ginny Weasley's like this is because she opened her heart and spilled all her secrets to an invisible stranger.' So much for _love_, I added, my thoughts much more acid than my pleasant, casual voice.

"'What are you talking about?'

"'The diary. _My _diary. Little Ginny's been writing in it for months and months, telling me all her pitiful worries and woes: how her brothers _tease _her, how she had to come to school with second-hand robes and books, how-' I held back a fit of laughter '-how she didn't think the famous, good, great Harry Potter would _ever _like her...' I watched him intently as I said these things. I longed to lung at him and have it done at that mment, but I restrained myself. I was not yet strong enough to do such things.

"'It was very _boring, _having to listen to the silly little troubles of an eleven-year-old girl. But I was patient. I wrote back, I was sympathetic, I was kind. Ginny simply _loved_ me. _No one's ever understood me like you, Tom... I'm so glad I've got this diary to confide in... It's like having a friend I can carry around in my pocket...'_ I laughed at last, unable to hold it in any longer. But the laugh was not Tom Riddle's. It was Lord Voldemort's. 'If I say it myself, Harry, I've always been able to charm the people I needed. So Ginny poured out her soul to me, and her soul happened to be exactly what I wanted. I grew stronger and stronger on a diet of her deepest fears, her darkest secrets. I grew powerful, far more powerful than little Miss Weasley. Powerful enough to start feeding Miss Weasley a few of _my _secrets, to start pouring a little of _my _soul back into _her...'_

"'What d'you mean?'

"'Haven't you guessed yet, Harry Potter?' I asked him, wondering how he could possibly find the Chamber itself without knowing the rest of it. 'Ginny Weasley opened the Chamber of Secrets. She strangled the school roosters and daubed threatening messages on the walls. She set the serpant of Slytherin on four Mudbloods, and the Squib's cat.' I told him of her unawareness of the diary, of how she'd become more and more alarmed every time she couldn't remember her actions during the day of an attack, of how she'd finally tried to dispose of my diary. And how ecstatic I'd been when it had been his hand writing in the diary afterward. He was quite angry about my framing Hagrid. Of course, his rage only added to my rapturous delight.

"'It was my word against Hagrid's, Harry. Well, you can imagine how it looked to old Armando Dippett. On the one hand, Tom Riddle, poor but brilliant, parentless but so _brave,_ school Prefect, model student; on the other hand, big, blundering Hagrid, in trouble every other week, trying to raise werewolf cubs under his bed, sneaking off to the Forbidden Forest to wrestle trolls. But I admit, even _I _was surprised how well the plan worked. I thought _someone _must realise Hagrid couldn't possibly be the heir of Slytherin. It had taken _me _five whole years to find out everything I could about the Chamber of Secrets and find the entrance... as though Hagrid had the brains, or the power! only the Transfiguration teacher, Dumbledore, seemed to think Hagrid was innocent. He persuaded Dippett to keep Hagrid and train him as gamekeeper. Yes, I think Dumbledore might have guessed. Dumbledore never seemed to like me as much as the other teachers did...'

"'I bet Dumbledore saw right through you,' he growled.

"'Well, he certainly kept an annoyingly close watch on me after Hagrid was expelled. I knew it wouldn't be safe to open the Chamber again while I was still at school. But I wasn't going to waste those long years I'd spent searching for it. I decided to leave behind a diary, preserving my sixteen-year-old self in its pages, so that one day, with luck, I would be able to lead another in my footsteps, and finish Salazar Slytherin's noble work.' Of course, that hadn't been my only purpose for the diary. Images of the dead lingered in my mind, but I disregarded them with ease. He knew of none of those things. He only knew what I had told him, and that was not enough to assume that I was using Horcruxes to rejuvinate myself. If he even knew what Horcruxes were. Dumbledore seemed keen on keeeping such matters hidden. Not that it had made a difference in the end.

"'Well, you haven't finished it. No one's died this time, not even the cat. In a few hours the Mandrake Draught will be ready and everyone who was Petrified will be all right again.' There was an air of sucess in his voice, and perhaps some attempted mockery. I didn't honestly care, though his cluelessness did make me a bit impatient. What difference would a few pointless lives make if I could thwart Harry Potter and rise as I had so many years ago?

"'Haven't I told you that killing Mudbloods doesn't matter to me any more? For many months now, my new target has been - _you. _Imagine how angry I was when the next time my diary was opened, it was Ginny who was writing to me, not you. She saw you with the diary, you see, and panicked. What if you found out how to work it, and I repeated all her secrets to you? What if, even worse, I told you who'd been strangling roosters. So the foolish little brat waited until your dormitory was deserted and stole it back. But it was clear what I must do. It was clear to me that you were on the trail of Slytherin's heir. From everything Ginny had told me about you, I knew you would go to any lengths to solve the mystery - particularly if one of your best friends was attacked. And Ginny told me the whole school was buzzing because you could speak Parseltongue...

"'So I made Ginny write her own farewell on the wall and come down here to wait. She struggled and cried and became _very_ boring. But there isn't much life left in her: she put too much into the diary, into me. Enough to let me leave its pages at last I have been waiting for you to appear since we arrived here. I knew you'd come. I have many questions for you, Harry Potter.'

"He had his fists clenched by that moment. 'Like what?'

"I kept the pleasant smile on my face. I kept myself composed. "Well, how is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent managed to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did _you_ escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?' This was the only real question I'd ever had that could make a difference in my life. I gave him time.

"'Why do you care how I escaped? Voldemort was after your time.'

"'Voldemort,' I said softly, loving the feel of the name I hadn't said in so long, 'is my past, present and future, Harry Potter...' I used his wand to write my birthname in the air. With a wave of the wand the letters rearranged themselves so that they read I AM LORD VOLDEMORT. 'You see?' I whispered to him. 'It was a name I was already using at Hogwarts, to my most intimate friends only, of course. You think I was going to use my filthy Muggle father's name for ever? I, in whose veins runs the blood of Salazar Slytherin himself, through my mother's side? I, keep the name of a foul, common Muggle, who abandonned me even before I was born, just because he found out his wife was a witch? No, Harry. I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I had become the greatest sorcerer in the world.!'

"The boy said nothing for some time. I had just shared one of my darkest secrets with him, I had shared the history of my life with my nemesis! At last the words came to him. 'You're not.'

"Was that the onlt thing he had to say He didn't even direct it at any part of my specch! 'Not what?' I snapped, losing my composure. I suppose the talk of my past had somewhat unhinged me. I hadn't been prepared for that one. I'd even surprised myself.

"'Not the greatest sorecerer in the world. Sorry to disappoint you, and all that, but the greatest wizard in the world is Albus Dumbledore. Everyone says so. Even when you were strong, you didn't dare try and take over at Hogwarts. Dumbledore saw through you when you were at school and he still frightens you now, wherever you're hiding these days.' I felt the control completely leave me. I remembered the burning wardrobe when he had told me I was a wizard. That had been fear. I did not fear him now. I only feared my own death, and the oblivion that I thought must have happened afterward. I did not particularly enjoy living (of course, I never enjoyed much of anything), but then, I did not want it to end. I wanted to live, and I would not let Albus Dumbledore stop me.

"'Dumbledore's been driven out of this castle by the mere _memory _of me!' I hissed, feeling the loathing turn to fire in my veins.

"'He's not as gone as you might think!' he said, a hint of depseration in his voice. He was running out of things to say. I was winning that argument without trying. I was about to tell him what I thought of such pathetic wishes, but I heard a strange music echoing through the Chamber. It was no ordinary music. I wheeled around to see Dumbledore's phoenix. It dropped a ragged cloth at Potter's feet. The Sorting Hat. Was that the only defense he had? I laughed again, and my laughter grew again, filling the Chamber with that soulless cackle.

"'This is what Dumbledore sends his defender! A songbird and an old hat! Do you feel brave, Harry Potter? Do you feel safe now? To business, Harry. Twice - in _your _past, in _my _future - we have met. And twice I failed to kill you. _How did you survive? _Tell me everything. The longer you talk, the longer you stay alive.' His eyes studied the Chamber, trying to find a way out of it.

"'No one knows why you lost your powers when you attacked me. I don't know myself. But I know why you couldn't _kill_ me. Because my mother died to save me. My common _Muggle-born _mother. She stopped you killing me. And I've seen the real you, I saw you last year. You're a wreck. You're barely alive. That's where all your power got you. You're in hiding, you're ugly, you're foul!'

"The boy dared to mock me! Yes, of course I was hideous, but what else would a creature like myself be? Surely he did not expect anything more from me. Being the thing I had been was better than looking like _Riddle._ And then he would speak of his mother, who had died for him. The Muggle who had given her life so that her son could live! My mother could not live even for me, her only child, the son of her one love. She could not breathe for me, and yet this boy's Muggle mother had STOPPED her breathing so that _he _could live on. I felt like screaming, like throwing myself onto the floor. But I forced a smile onto my face.

"'So. Your mother died to save you. Yes, that's a powerful counter-charm. I can see now - there is nothing special about you, after all. I wondered, you see. Because there are strange likenesses between us, Harry Potter. Even you must have noticed. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles. Probably the only two Parsselmouths to come to Hogwarts since the great Slytherin himself. We even _look_ something alike... But after all, it was merely a lucky chance that saved you from me. That's all I wanted to know. Now, Harry, I'm going to teach you a little lesson. Let's match the powers of Lord Voldemort, heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter, and the best weapons Dumbledore can give him.'

"I called the basilisk. I ordered it to kill Potter. The phoenix attacked it. Slytherin's monster was blinded, but it still went after him, lunging at him. But Potter pulled a sword out of the Sorting hat, and drove its blade through the head of the serpant when its mouth opened to him. The serpant's blood went everywhere. One of it's fangs stuck into Potters arm. He fell eventually. The bird rested its head on the wound. Tears came from its eyes. It was over at last. He was dying...

"Or was he? The wound was sealing itself! The tears, of course! They had healing powers! I would have to finish him myself. I pointed his wand at him, ready to end him just as easily as I had ended his father. The phoenix dropped my diary on Potter's lap. What had been the purpose of that action, exactly? Potter seemed dumbfounded for a moment, but then he grabbed the basilisk fang and drove it through the vvery center of the diary.

"Ink blood flooded from the diary. It covered the diary, the floor, Potter's hands. The room was not spinning. I felt a pain in my chest. Agony. My soul was being ripped away once more. I writhed and twisted and squirmed to lessen the pain. It did not subside. I let a scream escape my throat. It seemed to last an eternity. And then I was gone again, trapped within the confines of that destrpyed thing that was my cursed body. I was gone again. And the boy still lived. But that was nowhere near the end of it..."

Salazar Slytherin gawked at me. "What?" I snapped.

"You can't let a phoenix near a basilisk. It never works well."

"That was hardly my concern! Why should you complain? I've done far my life than you've ever fathomed doing in yours! I'm done idolising you! I need a better role model. I need to listen to Albus Dumbledore."


	26. The Prisoner of Azkaban

I nearly ran away screaming at that moment. Had I just said such a thing? Had I just admitted that I idolised Albus Dumbledore? Had I just realised that I wanted to be just like him? Had I really changed that much? The questions were overwhelming.

"Do you really, Tom?" came Dumbledore's voice, the same voice he'd used when he'd told me that our choices were our own.

I frowned. There was no way out of this one, and I realised with pure shock that I didn't _want _a way out. Perhaps he could help me. He'd already done so much. "I suppose so," I sighed, not daring to look at himand see his facial expression. He was probably smiling.

"You've transitioned, Tom."

"I just realised that myself. I can't say that it does not frighten me just a little."

I heard Merope's sobs of joy. I nearly laughed at them. Was it really something to cry about? Perhaps it was. "Shall I tell you the most eventless of it, then, now that we've established who I want to be?"

She nodded, wiping the tears from her face and smiling at me in that motherly way of hers. "T-Tom?" she sniffled.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. For not being there for you, I mean. I really regret it. Can you forgive me?"

I watched the hurt come to her face, the pain, and I couldn't help but feel sympathy and remorse. I'd hurt her with the talk of being without a mother, and she certainly didn't deserve the heartbreak from me. "How could I not?" She beamed at my words, and she seemed to glow despite her human flaws.

"Thank you."

I nodded wordlessly, then turned to the rest of them. "I suppose I should tell you about my next year. I spent it the way I had spent the last decade, sitting in my half-dead state, waiting for someone to rescue me and help me rise again. Where were my school friends when I needed their assistance? They couldn't _all _be in Azkaban, could they? Were they waiting for me to summon them? Those would be fool's dreams. And so I waited with no way to tell time or to know what was happening in the real world.

"Thoughts of my past were maddening me. I thought about the Potter boy, and how I could bring him down. I would have to allow physical contact as an option if I needed it, and that meant that I would need a part of his blood. Yes, that was the solution! We would have the same protection, so it would be purposeless to him. What a flawless plan. And then there was that prophecy. I needed that, but the Ministry would not exactly let me parade inside its confines. I needed so many things. But most of all, I needed a decent body. That would be at the top of my list. I would have Dumbledore gone as well. There were so many things to do, but I could do nothing.

"I also thought of Dumbledore. How was it that he saw so much? How much did he know, exactly? The idea of his seemingly endless knowledge unnerved me. If I ever escaped that helpless form, I would have to come up with a plan as quickly as I could. But rising seemed unlikely. I'd vowed my revenge. I would have it, perhaps, if I waited. And after a year of my patience, I was found by one of my most incompetant Death Eaters.

"He came stumbling through the forest, a very hilarious sight. He was the opposite of fit, and I couldn't help but sneer. He saw me at last. 'My Lord,' he whispered, bowing a deep bow and nearly tripping over a tree root. I was almost ill by that point. That fool was going to nurse me to health and bring me back? I was certainly never returning.

"'Wormtail, I think I need to be cared for. I know a place to stay, in Little Hangleton. A mansion. Come, Pettigrew, let us go.' He obeyed. We Apparated. He did everything I told him, but he was not excellent at any of it, and he seemed too frightened of me. As amusing as it was, it became rather irksome when it was time for him to feed me or come near me. So we awaited the return of another servant so that I could have the blood of my nemesis. That was another of my mistakes. But that comes later. Let us just relax for the moment, and in time I shall tell you another segment of my life story. Believe me, things get a lot worse from this point. The Dark Lord rose again... more powerful than ever. And this time, things were more severe than they had ever been..."


	27. Rebirth Again

**Hi everyone! So here's the next installment, and it may heat up just a bit. Maybe. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. If you haven't, you should. It's sad to have tons of hits and only a few reviews!**

"I always meant to ask you something," Albus said casually, staring blankly into the distance.

"What is it that you wanted to know?" I did not so much as consider hesitating.

"When you made your Horcruxes, did you ever wonder if your ideas were wrong? Did you ever feel remorse afterward?" I knew by the gentle tone of his voice that I would not be judged, but I still felt a certain reluctance.

"Well, the face of Tom Riddle was etched into my skull by then, and I had an idea of Merope Gaunt's personality at least. Their faces got me through the first few. Those were the most difficult, as my soul still could feel emotions that normal souls did. My later Horcruxes were merely because I did not want to die like some normal mortal man, but by then I was beyond any regret. That part of my soul had been missing always. No, I did not feel the slightest remorse."

He nodded. "But you do now?"

"Yes, of course. But I am a changed man. Things are different now."

"I know that as well as you do. I do miss lemon drops, but I suppose you don't need food after you die..."

"That piece of information was useless, but I appreciate it. Back to the next stage of my life. We stayed at the empty Riddle house, Wormtail and myself, avoiding anyone who might have spotted us and thought it suspicious. He was supposed to be dead, after all, and I was not entirely human just yet. Wormtail stayed near me most of the time, trying his best to impress me by obeying me. He was failing dismally; the terror on his face was all too prominant, and that only meant that he feared my form, and he could not last long in a situation that truly threatened our lives. But I could not complain: he had found me, and he was caring for me. That was enough for the moment.

"I don't think he enjoyed serving me in the way that the others had. Of course, their duties had been bold acts of bravery and loyalty to me. He simply had to feed me and take care of Nagini. Well, he would have to prepare a potion when the time came to give me the body that was rightfully mine, but I would be watching him, and I was gifted at making potions. Perhaps that was why I had the Horcruxes in the first place. Because Slughorn would have told me anything I had wanted to know as long as I could make Polyjuice Potion perfectly.

"The house was rightfully mine, I thought, the only thing my filthy father had ever left for me. So I would use it as I pleased.

"'There is a little more in the bottle, My Lord, if you are hungry.' His voice showed as much fear as his demeanor.

"'Later. Move me closer to the fire, Wormtail.' He obeyed. 'Where is Nagini?'

"'I - I don't know, My Lord. She set out to explore the house, I think.' The incompetant little man was not what I had appreciated in a servant, or even wanted in a servant for that matter. But I was stuck with him for the time being. I may as well make some use out of him.

"'You will milk her before we retire, Wormtail. I will need feeding in the night. The journey has tired me greatly.'

"'My Lord, may I ask how long we are going to stay here?'

"'A week. Perhaps longer. The place is moderately comfortable, and the plan cannot proceed yet. It would be foolish to act before the Quidditch World Cup is over.'

"'The - the Quidditch World Cup, My Lord? Forgive me, but - I do not understand - why should we wait until the World Cup is over?'

"The idiocy of his statement angered me. This fool was supposed to keep me in good health? This talentless coward? How was I not dead? Why did it have to be _him, _of all people? 'Because, fool, at this very moment wizards from all over the world, and every meddler from the Ministry of Magic will be on duty, on the watch for signs of unusual activity, checking and double-checking identities. They will be obsessed with security, lest the Muggles notice anything. So we wait.'

"'Your Lordship is still determined, then?' he asked in that meek voice. As if the answer wasn't as obvious as the last had been.

"'Of course I am determined, Wormtail.' How else was I to return, if not this way? As if I would have changed my mind. It had to be done. I would return, and Potter's blood would help me.

"'Wormtail hesitated a moment before speaking. At last the words tumbled out of his mouth while he could still speak. 'It could be done without Harry Potter, My Lord.'

I was not astounded. Wormtail was not the most faithful or trustworthy Death Eater, and Snape had mentioned a friendship with the Potters... perhaps there was some lingering human emotion there... 'Without Harry Potter? I see...'

"He paincked. Apparently he saw the meaning to my words. 'My Lord, I do not say this out of concern for the boy! The boy is nothing to me, nothing at all! It is merely that if we were to use another witch or wizard -any wizard- the thing could be done so much more quickly! If you allowed me to leave you for a short while -you know that I can disguise myself most effectively- I could be back here in as little as two days with a suitable person-'

"'I could use another wizard, that is true...' I said, watching his face as his mind must have been rushing with ideas of my abandonment.

"He was relieved that I had taken his response so well. If only he knew. But he would never know. I would make sure of it. 'My Lord, it makes sense. Laying hands on Harry Potter would be difficult, he is so well protected-'

"'And so you volunteer to go and fetch me a substitute? I wonder... perhaps the task of nursing me has become wearisome for you, Wormtail? Could this suggestion of abandoning the plan be nothing more than an attempt to desert me?' I truly wondered. As if everyone else had not done that to me before. As if I would be half-alive, without a soul, depending on a hopeless, cowering servant like him if nobody had left me. He was all I had left. And even he wished to leave me. Pathetic. Almost as pathetic as his attempts of reassurance.

"'My Lord! I - I have no wish to leave you, none at all-'

"'Do not lie to me! I can always tell, Wormtail! You are regretting that you ever returned to me. I revolt you. I see you flinch when you look at me, feel you shudder when you touch me...' Just like all of them. Attempting to leave me to die in the house of my filthy father. What had I done to deserve his fear? Had I cursed him, or attacked him? Or was it his fear of my wretched inhuman form? Oh, I did despise that. I was reliving the hell I had suffered as I child. I took a deep breath. He still protested.

"'No! My devotion to Your Lordship-'

"'Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go. How am I to survive without you, when I need feeding every few hours? Who is to milk Nagini?' He still did not see how very alone I was. I needed his assistance if I were to rise.

"'But you seem so much stronger, My Lord-'

"'Liar. I am no stronger, and a few days alone would rob me of the little health I have regained under your clumsy care. _Silence!'_ He stopped his bumbling. I took a moment to think, and then I decided to try once more to be kind to him. 'I have my reasons for using the boy, as I have already explained to you, and I will use no other. I have waited thirteen years. A few more months will make no difference. As for the protection surrounding the boy, I believe my plan will be effective. All that is needed is a little courage from you, Wormtail - courage you will find, unless you wish to feel the full extent of Lord Voldemort's wrath-'

"'My Lord, I must speak! All through our journey I have gone over the plan in my head - My Lord, Bertha Jorkins's disappearance will not go unnoticed for long, and if we proceed, if I murder-' But I never told you about Bertha Jorkins, did I?"

Albus shook his head. "Peter brought her along when he found me. She had a lot of information on the Ministry's plans for the year, especially the Quidditch World Cup and an attempt at the Triwizard Tournament... I formed my plans on these things. I killed Jorkins, of course. As I've said before, I was anything but welcome in the wizarding world, and everyone thought Peter was dead. And I'd forced her to give me the information, so her mind was ruined. I decided that I would place one of my servants undercover at Hogwarts and have him place Potter's name in the Goblet of Fire, which would choose him if he were the only candidate in a nonexistant school. And then he would grab the Cup in the final challenge, and it would bring him to me. His blood would then be mine to use as I pleased, and to spill. It was a flawless plan. But back to the mansion.

"'If? _If?_ If you follow the plan, Wormtail, the Ministry need never know that anyone else has died. You will do it quietly and without fuss; I only wish that I could do it myself, but in my present condition... Come, Wormtail, one more death and our path to Harry Potter is clear. I am not asking you to do it alone. By that time, my _faithful _servant will have rejoined us-'

"'_I _am a faithful servant.' He took offense to my words. That would not be the first time. But I had to hold back a laugh.

"'Wormtail, I need somebody with brains, somebody whose loyalty has never wavered, and you, unfortunately, fulfill neither requirement.' That one was true, but I do not think he expected my brutal honesty.

"'I found you. I was the one who found you. I brought you Bertha Jorkins.' There was a bitter edge to his voice by then, and I couldn't help but agree to that. At least he had done _something._

"'That is true,' I mused, gleeful to admit that he wasn't a complete waste of my time. 'A stroke of brilliance I would not have thought possible from you, Wormtail -though, if truth be told, you were not aware how useful she would be when you caught her, were you?'

"'I - I thought she might be useful, My Lord.-'

"'Liar,' I nearly chortled. I told him that I would reward him for his usefulness, let him perform a task that many would give their right hand to perform. Little did he know that the task involved the actual hand. He guessed that the deed would be unpleasant, but I assured him the unnamed task would be an honor, not wanting to frighten him any more by telling him his role in my rebirth. We discussed Bertha and the plan a while longer, and then my dear Nagini slithered into the room. I spoke to her. She had news of an eavesdropper.

"'Nagini has interesting news, Wormtail.'

"'I - indeed, My Lord?'

"'Indeed, yes. According to Nagini, there is an old Muggle man standing right outside this room, listening to every word we say.' Wormtail went to fetch him. Oh, this would be a wonderful night. Just what I needed. 'Invite him in, Wormtail. Where are your manners?'

I heard him hobbling in. He was insulted when I called him a Muggle. 'What's that you're calling me?' he shot. I had almost forgotten how very stupid the lot of them were.

"'I called you a Muggle. It means that you are not a wizard.'

"He was confused. Wizard? What did I mean? He was going to fetch his police, and his wife was waiting for him. Such lies.

"'You have no wife. Nobody knows you are here. You told nobody that you were coming. Do not lie to Lord Voldemort, Muggle, for he knows... he always knows...' How could I not know, after all the lies I'd endured, the constant lying and hiding I had done?

"'Is that right? Lord, is it? Well, I don't think much of your manners, _My Lord. _Turn 'round and face me like a man, why don't you?'

"Inspiration struck me. 'But I am not a man, Muggle. I am much, much more than a man. However... why not? I will face you... Wormtail, come turn my chair around.' I waited. I heard him whine. 'You heard me, Wormtail.'

"He turned the chair at last. The man saw me, the creature that he faced, and let out a single scream. Heaven, that sound. I killed him as to not attract attention. And then we continued our conversation as if nothing had happened, waiting for the second Crouch.

"The days passed quickly despite Wormtail's awkward behavior. Barty Crouch arrived, and I gave him orders. He was to give a sign of my rise at the World Cup, large enough to rally my Death Eaters but too small to let the Ministry suspect my involvement. He was to frame someone else. And so he did. A house elf. We had a knack for blaming lesser reatures for out own wrongs.

"Crouch went to Hogwarts as Mad-Eye Moody. Wormtail and myself stayed in the house of Riddle, preparing what needed to be ready. My plan seemed to be working well enough, and the Dark Mark burned darker on Wormtail's wrist. Crouch led Potter to victory, at the same time following all of my orders. The months flew by, and the time came.

"We waited in the cemetary in Little Hangleton. Tom Riddle's bones would be used. Of course, Wormtail knew his duty by that time. Potter came as scheduled, but there was another with him. He was only in the way. _'Kill the spare,' _I commanded, and he obeyed. Only one boy left.

"He tied Potter to Tom Riddle's stone. Quite ironic, really, that the two men that had most contributed to my defeat were together at last. But this was no laughing matter. I clung to Wormtail until he dropped me into the cauldron, as ordered. The moment of truth had come. Would he leave, or stay and do his job? I had seen the revolsion in his ratlike features as I held on to his neck. He contributed the bone of the filth, his own flesh... and Potter's blood, for which I had waited so many years for.

"The sobbing Wormtail placed my robes upon my shoulders. _This is my body,_ I thought,_ this is my blood. I have risen... once more..._

"I examined my hands. They were too perfect, too human. I was back, I was human in form, and I had a wand in my pocket. I drew it, and forced Wormtail against a headstone. He lay there, sobbing and screeching. And Potter was there as well. Too perfect... Laughter. I sent Wormtail's Dark Mark to life. Potter shrieked. It was working, then. He was quite a useful siren. 'It is back, they will have noticed it... and now we shall see... now we shall know...' I took the opprtunity to examine the empty cemetary. 'How many will be brave enough to return when they feel it? And how many will be foolish enough to stay away?' I directed the question at myself.

"I began to pace, distracting myself until the others arrived. 'You stand, Harry Potter, upon the remains of my late father. A Muggle and a fool... very like your dear mother. But they both had their uses, did they not? Your mother died to defend you as a child... and I killed my father, and see how useful he proved himself, in death...' I laughed. The thought of my relief when he had fallen was still amusing to me. 'You see that house upon the hillside, Potter? My father lived there. My mother, a witch who lived here in this village, fell in love with him. But he abandonned her when she told him what she was... He didn't like magic, my father... He left her and returned to his Muggle parents before I was even born, Potter, and she died giving birth to me, leaving me to be raised in a Muggle orphanage... but I vowed to find him... I revenged myself upon him, that fool who gave me his name... _Tom Riddle..._

"'Listen to me, reliving family history... why, I am growing quite sentimental... But look, Harry! My _true_ family returns...' Their cloaks billowed as they appeared. They dare not believe their eyes, my most loyal Death Eaters. They all dropped to their knees and kissed my robes. Such pleasantries were not unfamiliar. They stood in their circular formation. There were numerous gaps, but I had expected nothing more. They were enough for the time being.

"'Welcome, Death Eaters. Thirteen years... thirteen years since last we met. Yet you answer my call as if it were yesterday... We are still united under the Dark Mark, then! _Or are we?_ I smell guilt. There is a stench of guilt upon the air. I see you all, whole and healthy, with your powers intact -such prompt appearances!- and I ask myself... why did this band of wizards never come to the aid of their master, to whom they swore eternal loyalty? And I answer myself, they must have believed me broken, they thought I was gone. They slipped back among my enemies, and they pleaded innocence, and ignorance, and bewitchment...

"'And then I ask myself, but how could they have believed I would not rise again? They, who knew the steps I took, long ago, to guard myself against mortal death? They, who had seen proofs of the immensity of my power in the times when I was mightier than any wizard living? And I answer myself, perhaps they believed a still greater power could exist, one that could vanquish even Lord Voldemort... perhaps they now pay allegiance to another... perhaps the champion of commoners, of Mudbloods and Muggles, Albus Dumbledore? It is a disappointment to me... I confess myself disappointed...'

"Avery ran to my feet and fell there. 'Master! Master, forgive me! Forgive us all!' I simply laughed at his idiocy.

"'Crucio!'

"He writhed. 'Get up, Avery. Stand up. You ask for forgiveness? I do not forgive. I do not forget. Thirteen long years... I want thirteen years' repayment before I forgive you. Wormtail here has payed some of his debt already, have you not, Wormtail?' He continued to sob. 'You returned to me, not out of loyalty, but out of fear of your old friends. You deserve this pain, Wormtail. You know that, don't you?'

"'Yes, Master, please, Master...please...'

"It had resorted to his begging? As if he had even begun to suffer the pain I had suffered. But I had to do something, for a reward, or perhaps for my own amusement. 'Yet you helped me return to my body. Worthless and traitorous as you are, you helped me... and Lord Voldemort rewards his helpers...'

"His new hand was made of silver. Quite a creation, even for me. Peter stopped his crying. 'My Lord. Master... it is beautiful... thank you... _thank you...'_ He scrambled forward to kiss my robes.

"'May your loyalty never waver again, Wormtail.'

"'No, My Lord... never, My Lord...'

"I asked them all to be better, and then told them the story of my defeat and all that had happened since. They simply listened. I told Wormtail to untie Potter and give him his wand. We would have a proper duel. I could not lose.

"'You have been taught how to duel, Harry Potter?'

"Silence on his end. 'We bow to each other, Harry. Come, the niceties must be observed... Dumbledore would like you to show manners... Bow to death, Harry...' I smiled when I heard my Death Eaters laughing. He refused, of course. I had expected him to. 'I said, _bow.'_ With a wave of my wand, the boy bowed. My audience was howling with laughter. 'Very good. And now you, face me, like a man... straight-backed and proud, the way your father died...' I was reminded of the children I had cursed at that orphanage so long ago. 'And now - we duel.'

"My first curse was a Cruciatus. He screamed from the pain that was surely consuming his every thought. I ended that before it bored me. He had to last. 'A little break, a little pause... That hurt, didn't it, Harry? You don't want me to do that again, do you?' The boy said nothing. Such a fool, to try my patience. 'I asked you if you wanted me to do that again. Answer me! _Imperio!'_

"He faught it for quite some time. Then he bellowed two nasty words that irked me instantly. 'I WON'T!' The laughter stopped.

"'You won't? You won't say no? Harry, obediance is a virtue I need to teach you before you die... Perhaps another little dose of pain?' He dodged the curse, hiding behind Tom Riddle's headstone. 'We are not playing hide-and-seek, Harry. You cannot hide from me. Does this mean you are tired of our duel? Does this mean that you would prefer me to finish it now, Harry? Come out, Harry... come out and play, then... it will be quick... it might even be painless... I would not know... I have never died...'

"He lept up. He shot a disarming charm toward me, which collided with my killing curse, and we were connected. A strange light bound our wands together, made us one and the same. I told my Death Eaters to do nothing, and they obeyed. They seemed to be in an entirely different world...

"Imprints of the dead appeared. I knew each of them; victims of my wand. One by one they came, speaking to Potter. I wanted to disappear before Riddle came, but the Potters were the last of the people who came befor Potter ran...

"The real world had returned. The dead blocked my view of Potter, and I could see that he was running away... _'Stun him!'_

"They chased him stupidly, shooting hexes in every direction, trying to kill him. 'Stand aside! I will kill him! He is mine!'

"But he had grabbed the Portkey. Harry Potter had escaped. A scream came from me, penetrating the dreamlike daze the Death Eaters were in.

_"He had escaped. He would tell the world. My plan had failed... But it mattered not. I was alive, and I was ready for my revenge..."_


	28. Phoenix Feather AT LAST!

**I didn't want to keep my reviewers waiting long, but several things were in my way. But NEVER FEAR! I WILL continue to write this until it has ended the way I FIND APPROPRIATE! So enjoy... and review. A lot. Because I love REVIEWS and REVIEWERS!**

I took a moment to consider the workings of what had once been my mind. My own plan, which at the time had seemed so _flawless,_ had been the pathway to my own demise. How very fitting. Of course, that would be my defeat.

"Do you see your mistakes, Tom?"

"Of course, Ablus. Your questions lead to the same answers. But I did discover something strange, paradoxical, in fact..."

"What may that be?"

I thought for a moment, debating my wording. "Well, first, the precautions I took to keep myself alive killed me. And... this sounds so strange... the thing I feared above all else was death. I would not let myself die because I feared Death would destroy me. _Life _destroyed me. _Death _saved me."

Tom Riddle and Albus Dumbledore shared glance, almost as if they were sharing some secret information. What could that be? "Why are you looking at one another like that?"

"No reason," Riddle shot. Albus rolled his eyes in a very uncharacteristic manner. He was clearly frustrated.

"I shall tell you after you finish your story entirely. Only then will I tell you the things I am hiding."

"So you are hiding multiple things? What am I to make of this?"

"Many things, yes. But they all go back to the one thing. And they all will please you, I am sure, when you find out what they are. But that is _only _if you finish."

"I suppose I can do that. I only fear my own thoughts on the worst of the story. But I am to blame for that. I must say that I loved having my body back. Love is not an accurate word. I never truly loved anything, but I felt some strong emotion. But I enjoyed feeling the textures od the ground on my bare feet, the sounds I could hear more vividly than ever, the scent of potion fumes and grass that had just been moved. I could even taste the night air. It was simply bliss. Even the Death Eaters could not ruin my night.

"I decided to stay in the house of Riddle for at least one more night; what harm could it do? There were the winged armchairs I had grown so fond of, the large fireplaces, the rugs with their intricate patterns. It was perfect for my first night as a man. And none of the others objected when I led them up the hill.

"Severus arrived in a matter of hours. I admit that I was supsicious, but he told me of his allegiance, of his plans of spying on Dumbledore for the Death Eaters, of serving me again. There was not a single sign of dishonesty in his mind, and so I welcomed him back to my ranks. He slept like the rest of them, staying only because I told him to.

"I took my time alone to elaborate on my plans. I would have to destroy my threats before I thought about rising to full power. Was there something I needed to know to destroy Potter, though? Was there some secret I needed to unearth? Surely there was _something._ I would need the prophecy to know for sure. But only the subject of the prophecy could withdraw it. I could not exactly go waltzing into the Department of Mysteries and expect no heads to turn. That left only one option: I would have to depend on Harry Potter.

"I could trick him somehow, persuade him to grab the orb from its shelf. Then one of my loyal Death Eaters -Malfoy, perhaps- could snatch the prophecy from him and bring it to me. Ah yes, a perfect plan. But how could it be done? I knew nothing about the boy, so I had no idea how to lure him into the Department of Mysteries. Perhaps I could first get a few recruits, retrieve the Lestranges from Azkaban, ruin the boy as much as I could without giving myself away. The Ministry was not what I needed. Dumbledore was probably already rallying his old helpers to fight me.

"But what was his connection to the boy? Potter had been more than keen on defending Dumbledore when we had faught in the Chamber, and in turn Albus seemed more than ready to defend the boy. Was it merely the old man's foolishness... or was it something more? Oh, there were so many questions, so many mysteries I would have to solve! But that would come later. I needed to sleep...

"When I woke, I decided to treat myself to the best breakfast. My senses went wild over every food I grabbed. It was simply lovely, all of it. I cannot think of any experience to compare the emotion to that would make you understand. I was_ alive, _and every detail was like a new awakening to my senses. Ah, it was sensational. I nearly forgot about my plans due to the pleasure. But I quickly remembered. Perhaps I could use the boy as a means of seeing Dumbledore, if they were close. Something along those lines.

"But first there was the actual reform. Was Dumbledore readying the Order of the Phoenix? Was he telling the Ministry of Magic of my return? What would they do to defend themselves, or would they simply turn a blind eye? I needed answers, and in my house waited a band of lovely Death Eaters who could give me such answers. This would not be difficult. They would wake soon enough.

"I waited patiently. They all sat at the dining room table, knowing I must have had some sort of orders for them by that point. I did not look at them; rather, I studied the overgrown, gnarled shrubs that were visible through the shattered window. It was too bad that I had killed the gardner. 'You are all here because you are my loyal servants, I am to assume. Therefore, I have duties for each of you. All of these things are of utmost importance, so I will expect you to complete them and report to me as swiftly as you can. Snape, you will get any information on Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix that is available. You are to continue spying on Dumbledore. Lucius, find out if word of my return has reached the Ministry. Many of you will recruit new Death Eaters. That is, the less trustworthy of you can do the less important tasks. Now, I think you should do those things, don't you?'

"All of them Disapparated. Peter remained. 'What do you want me to do, My Lord?' As if there was any useful job for him.

"'There are not many things you can do, Wormtail. Everyone thinks you are dead. I suggest you stay somewhere inconspicuous. Away from me, or I will surely murder you.'"

"Wasn't that nice of you?" the Weasley boy said in a voice that reminded me of Severus.

"At least I warned him. He was such a baffoon; I would have killed him if he had decided to stay near me. Where was I? Oh yes, my first morning. I decided to enjoy my time in the village while I waited for my Death Eaters to return. I disguised myself and walked into the village. I drank at the Muggle restaurant, I listened to everyone talk about pathetic worries, I asked them how they were. I pushed aside my hatred of Muggles so that I could see and hear them. They would be nameless things in my memory after I returned to full power, but I did not need to draw attention. And because of that, I would let no Muggles die in a suspicious way.

"I decided not to go into the forest -I'd had more than my share of life in a forest. Instead, I had a nice walk by a lake. That would be my method of wasting hours: waiting in some Muggle place for word from any of my Death Eaters. They brought me many useful facts: Dumbledore had restarted the Order of the Phoenix, he had told the Minister about my return, the Ministry of Magic was doing nothing to even confirm my rise, and the Daily Prophet's newest target for criticism was Harry Potter. They were almost doing my job for me. But there were still things to do. I wanted my most loyal Death Eaters at my side once more, and I wished to see whether some other man could grab my prophecy.

"The dementors were on my side, of course. That made it so easy to get my Death Eaters out. Bellatrix was praising my strength and swearing her allegiance to me, something that was not at all necessary. I knew that she had gone to Azkaban because she had remained loyal to me, and for that she would be rewarded. The others were not quite as enthusiastic, but they were just as pleased to escape. We stayed at the house of Riddle, staying away from wizards. The Ministry blamed the escapes on Sirius Black, one of our enemies. It was too perfect. Dumbledore was even losing respect. Vengeance was sweet. Once I had Potter, things would be absolutely perfect.

"I decided to try to kill the man guarding the Department of Ministries. I would use my dear Nagini. Yes, that was a solution. I would enter her mind. And there we were, in the Ministry of Magic, slithering to the redhaired man. We were advancing... Our teeth sunk into his flesh. Again and again we dug into him. We could taste his skin, and then his blood poured into our mouth. Triumph. Hunger. _Remorse?_

"We were not alone, then. Who was that, invading our privacy? I listened. _Please, Mr Weasley, don't be dead! I'll tell someone! Hold on!_ Potter! My nemesis! He was in my mind and he could see what I was doing! This was an outrage, it was...

"_Quite useful, actually,_ I realised as I returned to my own body and mind. I could use that against Potter. But surely Dumbledore would realise what was happening. He would find a way to shield the boy. But Potter was weak. And if I could just find the boy's weakness, he would be mine. But first, perhaps I could use him as a means to see what Dumbledore was doing.

"Ahh, the possibilities... I entered the mind of Potter. That was easier than closing my eyes. I could see the stone walls before me as if I were there... but then, I was there. He may have felt me in his mind, but he did nothing to escape. The boy entired the Headmaster's office and told him all he knew. Dumbledore would not look at him, at me. He must have known, then. There was another barrior.

"But I was patient. I did what I wanted without really noticing when I did what, without establishing any order in my actions. I did not need order. I was evil at its best. At last information came - from the Black sisters, of course- that Potter did, in fact, have some weakness. He loved Sirius Black, loved him more than anyone. This I could use. I could mess with his mind. And I would.

"The day came at last when I had made my final plans. I briefly told the Death Eaters what they were to do: enter the Ministry, and take the prophecy from Potter, bring it to me. He would be there. I had my ways to make sure of that. He slept somewhere in Hogwarts, probably the Gryffindor boy's dormitory, but he was anything but safe from me. I entered the piece of his mind that he shared with me. I imagined a scene of Sirius Black suffering, of myself torturing him in ways I only would use on the worst of my enemies. I felt him writhing, suffering from the dream. I didn't bother to shield my own rapturous delight. He would think that _he _was in _my mind! _But how very incorrect he would be.

"My Death Eaters were in their places. I did not watch as they fought, for I did not wish to waste my own time. At last I saw Bellatrix race out of the Death Chamber, Potter pursuing her. He tried to curse her, but she was not affected much. He had never used an Unfogivable Curse before. Oh, this was grand! What a spectacle! What a show! Oh, this was worth my wait!

"Bella was screaming her apologies to me, telling me that she was dueling Black when Potter had broken the prophecy. I saw the truth to her words. And even if she had made a mistake, she had been faithful. Perhaps I would not punish her as brutally. But then, perhaps I would not care. It was hard to tell what my mind would think of these people. Potter had his eyes closed. He did not even see me.

"'He can't hear you from here!' he yelled, eyes still closed. I could have laughed. I heard everything my Dear Ones told me.

"'Can't I, Potter?' I said only to mock him. He saw me standing there, showing off my power as I always had. The fear brought my delight again. 'So you smashed my prophecy? No, Bella, he is not lying... I see the truth looking at me from within his worthless mind... Months of preparation, months of effort... and my Death Eaters have let Harry Potter thwart me again...'

"She begged again for mercy and forgiveness. They only sickened me. 'Be quiet, Bella. I shall deal with you in a moment. Do you think I have entered the Ministry of Magic to hear your sniveling apologies?' I stopped. Even she, the most loyal and devoted of my ranks, had failed me; and there I was again, standing emptyhanded, appearing the fool. I was growing tired of these games.

"I heard her say something about a man waiting below, but I did not acknowledge it. I did not care. It did not matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Not until my nemisis breathed no more. 'I have nothing more to say to you, Potter. You have irked me too often, for too long. AVADA KEDAVRA!'

"The curse sped toward him, and he stood, emptyminded, wand directed at the floor. But then the golden wizard statue defended him. It had come alive! What was this charade? 'What-? Dumbledore!'

"He stood in front of the golden gates, as ancient as he had ever been, giving off the same sort of power he had during our first encounter. My paradox. My only barrier. Those gates must have been hell's gates, then. And they had been opened.

"We exchanged a few spells, and the fountain's creatures were all alive then, springing into action. This was not about power; it was about vengeance. But then, hadn't it always been? 'It was foolish to come here tonight, Tom. The Aurors are on their way-'

"'By which time I will be gone, and you dead!' I sent a Killing curse on him, and of course missed. My anger was controlling me. He had dared to use my filthy Mudblood name. For that alone I could have killed him. But it was more than that. My loathe for him was in the way he stood, the way he spoke, the way he acted. It was in the very center of his soul, really. And nothing could assuage it.

"Dumbledore launched his own spell at my. I conjured a shield to protect me. Of course, the fool had not used a killing curse. He never set out to kill, for reasons beyond my comprehension. 'You do not seek to kill me, Dumbledore? Above such brutality, are you?'

"'We both know that there are other ways of destroying a man, Tom. Merely taking your life would not satisfy me, I admit-'

"'There is nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!' I bellowed at him. Did he not know that there was an uncertainty of what would happen to the dead after they died, that there would perhaps be only nothingness awaiting us when we fell to Death? Death was the ultimate pain. I had done so many things, terrible things, even lived through years of near-oblivion, just so that I would not die. And he stood there mocking the final end, he with his infinate serenity and limitless power.

"'You are quite wrong. Indeed, your failure to understand that there are things far worse than death has always been your greatest weakness-'

"I fired another jet of death at him, which broke the statue that guarded him so well. So we were to speak of weaknesses? What about his absurd inability to suspect infidelity? Trust, they said. More of a way to fill a void, in my opinion. We fired more spells, wasted more precious time, and then I had a new plan. Use the boy...

"We were one at that moment, him and I, in a way that no other human being could have been with me. For a moment I marvelled at the joy I felt - but then I decided to drive myself further into darkness. I gave us, gave him, the pain of all pains. He felt the pain when I moved as him, when I used him for my own reasons.

"'_Kill me now, Dumbledore...' _

"He screamed for release. The agony travelled through his very veins. _'If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy...'_

"My thoughts and speach ceased for a moment. The boy spoke on my behalf; yet the words were not my own. _ 'Let the pain stop. Let him kill us... End it, Dumbledore... Death is nothing compared to this..._

"'_And I'll see Sirius again...' _I loathed that. He called for the dead one, the one who had abandonned him for silence and oblivion, the one who had failed him... how could that be? I escaped his wretched body at once. I grabbed Bella and Disapparated. But the Ministry had captured Death Eaters, and they had seen me. They had their proof now. And the chase would begin. More games. But I would handle it as I always had. And even Dumbledore himself would not stop me. Lucius had failed me, and so his son would be his replacement. He would perform the ultimate deed... He would murder Dumbledore.

"Do you see how far this had gotten? The lives I ended, the hearts I broke, the souls I split... they meant nothing. I regret this more than anything. I was blind. But now I see. If only I had to wait until after my death to be saved. I wish I could change the past..."

"But perhaps you can," Albus told me.

"Excuse me?"


	29. The HalfBlood prince: The First Triumph

"Explain what you mean," I demanded, stunned. "You speak of changing things. Is that so?"

"I did not say that, Tom. We can simply reverse the irreversible."

"You speak in paradoxes, Dumbledore!"

"Tom, there are no paradoxes in this world. We are dead. We are trapped here. Or are we? Tell me, what do you think of finding an escape?"

"Escapes are beyond my reach. I have not earned an escape."

His eyes were two shining orbs now, two crystal light bulbs glowing in his amusement. "Oh, but you have! See how you have changed! I think you have earned many things, Tom. But first, tell me the next segment of your saga. The pleasantries come later. This is very close to the end of your life, is it not?"

"Yes. I should tell you the rest of it now so that you will tell me what it is you plan to do. That year was one of my best, I think; I had my place in the scheme of things, and now the Ministry had spread word of my return. The next round of my game. And this time, I would triumph. I recruited who I could: lycanthropes, giants, Infiri; any creature that was detested or was lower than wizard kind. They would have their uses. I placed Wormatil in the hands of Severus, to be a servant more or less since I had no use for him. Then I could simply watch and wait. And that is what I did.

"My ranks gradually grew to double, even triple, what they had been. Oh, it was too perfect. And then there was Draco, the son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. I gave him the Mark, and with it came the opportunity of a lifetime: kill Albus Dumbledore. Clear my path for me, and be reward above all others. I intended to let him at least have a few moments of torment before someone - Severus, perhaps?- came to his rescue and performed the great deed. Of course, these were merely my predictions. Perhaps the boy would do it to gain respect, to gain power. There was no real way to tell, of course.

"You understand that it was greater than anything to see them running around like madmen at the thought of me. I was like a god, choosing to make this situation anything I wanted it to be. And this kept my satisfied through that planning time, time I used wisely enough. I re-evaluated the events that had occurred since my defeat, and I was determined to prevent yet another defeat. What had stopped me each time?

"The first time it had been his mother's sacrifice. I needn't worry about that. The second time it had been the blood. That problem had been solved as well. The third had been a Horcrux- well, I had my own body now. Never again would that be a problem. Dumbledore had been in the way before... but he was old and vulnerable, and battling me had weakened him. He too would be gone. That left only the night of my return. He had fled. But once I had the world, he could not run forever...

"But I was forgetting something, wasn't I, something that was of utmost importance. Our wands had done something... and my victims had returned to the Earth for moments. I could not have these things. I needed a new wand. And so we would take Ollivander, the master of wands, and he would explain to me what had happened. But those things were only plots, things that I would do when I pleased. My main focus was Albus. He had to die.

"Word came one day from young Draco that Dumbledore had left the castle. I wanted more than anything to go to the castle, to witness this spectacle for myself. The man that had known more of me than any other, the man who had angered me more than even Harry Potter, would die. And I, the man who had ordered the others to kill him, would be nowhere in sight. How I wished to see the end of my great foe, but Hogwarts was not my place to be. I had to stay where I was, away from suspicious and loathing eyes. Did it really matter whether I witnessed the light leaving the eyes that tattered my soul when I saw them? Dead was dead, was it not? Merely knowing should have been enough. But it was not. I suffered in silence while the others raided the castle.

"They came when I had thought they would, some injured. Draco had an expression of pure horror on his young face, and Severus looked shaken as well. So Severus had done it, after all. Marvelous. He was to be favored above all of them, then, as he had performed the ultimate favor. And why was it that Greyback had blood on his robes if he was not injured? His mind told of Order interference. And yet he had taken one, they had conjured my Mark, and none of Dumbledore's soldiers had been his savior. It was perfect. The beginning of the end..."

"My death was your only triumph, then. Well, I suppose you may have another. We shall see. But first, to the end, Tom..."


	30. Part 1: Victory

**Hello everyone! Sorry this has taken so long, but I've been busy. This is part 1 of Hallows, and Part 2 is the last part of the dear villain's life. Enjoy, and please review. **

"The next and last chronicle of my time on Earth is more difficult to tell than any other, not because it is particularly painful to me, but because I was living it as a man with only the smallest shard of a soul and no regard for his actions. For this reason my story may be incomplete or may not make a bit of sense. I beg you to frogive me.

"I waited for my servants at the Malfoy Manor, ready to plan my next attack on Potter. Severus and Yaxley were running late, and I did not appreciate the wasting of my valuble time. Yet I waited, perhaps more patiently than I would have on any other occasion, because I knew that their information would be valuble. I did not glance at the figure that was hanging above the table, unconscious. I could see the reflection of his face on the table. The fool.

"At last the two walked into the room, and after my instruction, sat in their designated seats. Severus was at my immediate right, and Yaxley sat next to Dolohov. It was time to discuss the Order plans. I listened to Severus's information first, as I trusted him more than almost any other. Not that I truly trusted any of them. I looked into his piercing black eyes, beyond the depths of them, and saw no dishonesty there. He was correct when he told me when Potter would leave. Of course, Yaxley had contradicting information. Useless, of course.

"I heard only bits and pieces of their debate. Severus seemed to have the most rational thoughts. I heard him speaking. 'The Order believes that we have infiltrated the Ministry.'

"'The Order's got one thing right, then, eh?' one of my lesser people said, and he giggled. I said nothing. I simply fixed my eyes on the slowly revolving body, remembering my journey. The man had thought that wizards could live in harmony with Muggles. If only he could have seen beyond my eyes, seen my tale. Muggles were filth. They created only what the wizard world would never fully understand. They were the initial source of my hatred, whatever my other source at that point may have been. I knew this, somewhere in the back of my mind. Yet I did not dare admit it.

"Yaxley was still babbling on about what he had heard from Dawlish. I held up a hand to silence him. I turned to Severus, who seemed as collected as I must have seemed. 'Where are they going to hide the boy next?' I asked him, expecting him to once again have an answer.

"He told me that they would hide him somewhere in a home of an Order member, a house under every protection known to wizardkind. We would have to get him before he arrived, unless the Ministry fell in a matter of days. Perhaps it was time to actually listen to Yaxley, then.

"I looked over at him. 'Well, Yaxley? _Will _the Ministry have fallen by next Saturday?'

"All eyes turned to him. He gathered his rationality, and told everyone that he had put an Imperius Curse on Pius Thicknesse. The others seemed quite impressed.

"'It is a start,' I told him. 'But Thicknesse is only one man. Scrimgeour must be surrounded by our people before I act. One failed attempt on the Minister's life will set me back a long way.'

"He told me of Thicknesse's connections, things I did not at all care about, but I let him speak until he was satisfied. As long as Thicknesse was not discovered, things would be fine. But the Ministry probably would not fall in time. So we would get him while he was moving. Easy enough, as he could not use anything but a broom or Muggle methods to travel.

"My eyes again fell on the swirling body. 'I shall attend to the boy in person. There have been too many mistakes where Harry Potter is concerned. Some of them have been my own. That Potter lives is due more to my errors than to his triumphs. I have been careless, and so have been thwarted by luck and chance, the wreckers of all but the best-laid plans. But I know better now. I understand those things that I did not understand before. I must be the one to kill Harry Potter, and I shall be.'

"I took Lucius's wand so that my wand would make no mistake if I were to duel with Potter. This upset Lucius deeply, but I could not say that I felt any emotion but irritation toward this. I had given him his freedom from Azkaban. Was that not enough? Oh, how they hated having me in their home! Yet they tried to shield these things from me. As if he was strong enough.

"There was time enough for us to discuss the filth of our families. In those few moments alone I condemned two decent people without a hint of regret. And then it was time to kill the one hovering over the table, the one who stood for all I opposed. The one who taught Muggle Studies at Hogwarts.

"'Yes, Professor Burbage taught the children of witches and wizards all about Muggles... how they are not so different from us...' I said more to myself than to the others. Yes, how foolish this woman was. Wizards did not steal what was given to another race by birth. Wizards did not give their families away because of shame. But yet they were the same as Muggles... The concept to me was unthinkable. And so she was killed. And Nagini had her to eat. Sickening, now that I look back. But then it was so rational...

"The night came when Potter was to depart from the house he had lived in for so many years. My Death Eaters were to find out where Potter was, and then turn him over to me. We ascended into the night sky, ignoring the cool night air and bats and looking for Potter. I didn't need a broom like the rest. There was not one Potter waiting for us, but multiple Potters, members of the Order. 'Find the right one, and summon me when you do,' I told them. 'He'll be using a Disarming Charm if you try to duel him. Potter is too weak to harm any of you.'

"At last I was called to get him. I fired curses at him, and he tried to Stun me. Death Eaters fell all around me. I advanced on Potter, and just as I had begun my Curse, my enemy's wand acted on its own and damaged mine. What had happened? Why had that happened? I took Selwyn's wand and prepared to curse him. My eyes would be the last thing he would see... But then an invisible barrier kept me from falling, and Potter plummetted into the darkness.

"Ollivander had lied to me. For that he would suffer. I went to him immediately. '_You told me the problem would be solved by using another's wand!'_ He screamed as I let him feel the pain that only began to compare to my anger. He begged for mercy. 'You lied to Lord Voldemort, Ollivander!'

"He continued to deny those things. 'You sought to help Potter, to help him escape me!' Ollivander swore that he did not, but he could not explain the night's events. It was time for him to really _feel my anger._ He writhed in agony.

"We took the Ministry over soon enough. Scrimgeour was killed, and our men were in complete control. Potter could never escape me, then. But he had escaped! Rowle called on me and told me this, and I let him feel my wrath through the young Malfoy boy. There was no forgiveness. I would never again show mercy. My wrath would be more terrifying than ever before, and I would be the ruler of all...

"Severus Snape was given the job of Hogwarts Headmaster. Only he could guard the school and its people effectively, and the job satisfied him. Several others worked there as well, transforming the school into my vision of perfection. Meanwhile, I went to find Gregorovich, the foriegn wandmaker. I went to the house of a woman and asked her for Gregorovich. She denied any knowledge. Useless fool. Her children came into the room. She tried to shield them, but with the twirl of my wand she fell dead.

"At last I found Gregorovich, the last one who I had known to own the unbeatable wand. I hung him from his ankles by magic, and he told me the wand had been stolen many years ago. He showed me a young man with golden hair running away with the Wand, but the name of the thief he knew not. I killed him as well. What would I have to go through to get what I needed? Was I ever going to get to Potter?

"I knew that Potter would go to Godric's Hollow; his dear Muggle mother was buried there. And so I went to the only one who knew some of Dumbledore's secrets, Bathilda Bagshot, and lured Potter there. Nagini struck her neck, and Potter was pinned to the floor by the serpant, wandless. My joy was overwhelming, and I enjoyed watching as Potter and his friend struggled for their lives. I arrived, but I could not stop thinking about my loss. I had lost my past, my body, and my honor, but at my feet was a photograph of the Wand thief I seeked...

"Xenophilius Lovegood's daughter was in our posession. This, we said, was a punishment for printing unwelcome information into the wizarding world, but it was truly a strategy to get Potter. They came to the Lovegood home soon enough, and Xenophilius summoned us. But the boy was not there. He had escaped, or the man had lied. Either way, he begged and pleaded for his daugher, but he did not receive her. There was no sparing those who were no help to me. He was no exception.

"Potter eventually spoke my name. The others tracked him through Taboo, and they were taken to Malfoy Manor. A fight broke out. Malfoy's wand was stolen, a house elf was stabbed, and several of our captives escaped. And to make things worse, Pettigrew killed himself. I felt my rage climax. The fools could have summoned me, but they were too busy arguing over the reward in gold! I could not trust even my most loyal servants.

"I joined Severus at Hogwarts, at last knowing where to find the unbeatable wand. I told him that I would meet him inside, not wishing to let him see what I was doing. I stared up at the castle in its perfection. It had been my only home, my right from birth. And I felt ecxtasy pour through me as I saw Albus Dumbledore's marble tomb before me. I pushed aside the lid using my own wand, and stared upon the ancient, unchanged face. Between the hands lay the wand, unprotected. Had he thought that anything could keep me from the wand or keep the wand safe? Had he thought me afraid to open his tomb? I pulled the wand away from him, and sparks flew from it. The deed was done. Potter would be mine.

"A goblin stood before me, shaking, mortified. He had told me that the volt with my Horcruxes in it had been robbed. Had my ears failed me? Potter couldn't know about my Horcruxes... could he? But he had taken my cup, the thing I had taken from Hepzibah Smith so many years ago. I screamed like a mad man in an asylum would scream. How could it be? I killed the goblin, I killed everyone in sight, for their ears were unworthy. My treasures were taken, then. The diary was gone, the cup was taken. What if, by chance, the boy knew about the others?

"Dumbledore. He who could always see past my eyes; he who never had believed my lies. He was dead on my orders, his wand was in my hand, yet through the boy his plans thrived still. Through the ones who had loved him, he lived on.

"But surely I would have known if my Horcruxes had been destroyed? I, Lord Voldemort, killer of so many nameless, faceless, worthless men; I who had conquered death; I. the most valuble of them all; how could I not know? I had not felt it as a man would when the diary was destroyed, but I had not been a man. But now things were different. They had to be safe...

"I had to be sure, though. There was the Gaunt house, the lake, Hogwarts. But nobody knew about the Gaunts. So the ring had to be safe, if none of the others. And the lake; how could the boy break through the protection that surrounded the lake? That Horcrux, then, was safe. None had known what I had about Hogwarts. The diadem was safe, too. My dear Nagini had to stay near me; she could never be harmed, lest I be destroyed.

"But I alone would have to visit my hiding places. But which first? Dumbledore had known my original name, which meant that he may have known that 'Marvolo' was a reference to the Gaunts. The shack first, then. The lake seemed unlikely, but perhaps the orphanage had told Dumbledore about my early deeds. The castle was under heavy protection, and alerting Severus would be wise. But I would not tell him about the Horcruxes; to trust was to perish. My most loyal had proven this.

"The shack, the lake, the castle, and Nagini must never leave my sight. I called her immediately, and we were joined once more.

"I felt the call of my people from Hogwarts; they had the boy. At last. I called to Hogwarts: 'Give me Harry Potter, and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter, and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter, and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight.'

"Severus stood with me in the shack in Hogsmeade. It was time to dismiss him, to take what was mine. The Elder Wand was showing no extraordinary magical power. Why was this? Perhaps the wand was not yet mine. Severus had killed the man. Therefore, the wand was his. I had to change that. I had to kill him. Nagini would do it. She sunk her fangs into him, and I felt triumph as he died. 'I regret it,' I told him, though I felt nothing. He was as temporary as the rest of them. Killing him brought me no pain. It was time to win at last, to beat my greatest enemy.

In the forest I waited for him. He came, of course, as I knew he would. Potter was all too predictable. He seemed to think he could defeat me, but I knew he could not. There was no resistance when I raised my wand, and no struggle before he fell. But I felt myself slipping away as well...


	31. Part 2: Fallen

**Here's Part 2, which I separated for my own satisfaction. Review!**

"I could not tell where I was, only that I was not alive. But I was not, could not be, dead. I felt so defeated. My worst fear had been realised. Life was meaningless, and death was inevitable to most everyone. I felt the pain of all I had done -though I did not realise that- and I knew true agony for the first time. But that ended soon enough. I felt myself come back into the world of the living, and I was on the ground. Bellatrix tried to help. 'That will do,' I told my Death Eaters, and stood.

"Bellatrix offered her help again. As if I would have accepted. 'I do not require assistance. The boy... is he dead?' Narcissa checked. He was indeed dead, she told me. I cursed him multiple times to be sure and to mock him, but he did not flail in pain. Hagrid, one of my old foes, was to carry Potter to the castle in his arms.

"'Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone. The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together.'

"We proceeded to the castle with the dead Potter, and the people within started another battle. I dueled everyone not with me, not bothering to watch the dead Potter. Bellatrix dueled Molly Weasley, and Potter revealed himself to be fully alive. It was time to duel. There would be no herony this time. He had no one to conceal him.

"'I don't want anyone else to try to help. It's got to be like this. It's got to be me.' I scowled at Potter's false bravery.

"'Potter doesn't mean that. That isn't how he works, is it? Who are you going to use as a shield today, Potter?'

"'Nobody,' he told me. 'There are no more Horcruxes. It's just you and me. Neither can live while the other survives, and one of us is about to leave for good...'

"He thought he could survive? I had the ultimate weapon. He had nothing. 'One of us? You think it will be you, do you, the boy who has survived by accident, and because Dumbledore was pulling the strings?'

"'Accident, was it, when my mother died to save me? Accident, when I decided to fight in that graveyard? Accident, that I didn't defend myself tonight, and still survived, and returned to fight again?'

"He had to mentioned the Muggle woman. How dare he value her? '_Accidents! _Accident and chance and the fact that you crouched and sniveled behind the skirts of greater men and women, and permitted me to kill them for you!'

"'You won't be killing anyone else tonight. You won't be able to kill any of them ever again. Don't you get it? I was ready to die to stop you from hurting these people-'

"'But you did not!'

"'-I meant to, and that's what did it. I've done what my mother did. They're protected from you. Haven't you noticed how none of the spells you put on them are binding? You can't torture them. You can't touch them. You don't learn from your mistakes, Riddle, do you?'

"I flinched at the name. My filth name. The name I had rejected from the very beginning. The name of the one who had shunned me. _'You dare-'_

"'Yes, I dare. I know things you don't know, Tom Riddle. I know lots of important things that you don't. Want to hear some, before you make another big mistake?'

"I did not wish to be weak, or to listen to the brat babble on, but what if he did indeed know something significant? But the fool only knew so much... 'Is it love again? Dumbledore's favorite solution, _love,_ which he claimed conquered death, though it did not stop him falling from the tower and breaking like an old waxwork? _Love, _which did not prevent me stamping out your Mudblood mother like a cockroach, Potter - and nobody seems to love you enough to run forward this time and take my curse. So what will stop you dying now when I strike?'

"'Just one thing.'

"'If it is not love that will save you this time, you must believe that you have magic that I do not, or else a weapon more powerful than mine?'

"'I believe both,' he told me. I was shocked. How could a mere boy beat the great Lord Voldemort?

"'You think _you _know more magic than I do? Than _I,_ Lord Voldemort, who has performed magic that Dumbledore himself never dreamed of?'

"'Oh, he dreamed of it, but he knew more than you, knew enough not to do what you've done.'

"'You mean he was weak! Too weak to dare, too weak to take what might have been his, what will be mine!' I was almost sickened. The man had power I had envied, power I could only dream of in that hellhole orphanage, and yet he had wasted it!

"'No, he was cleverer than you, a better wizard, a better man.'

"'I brought about the death of Albus Dumbledore!'

"You thought you did, but you were wrong.'

"I felt the anger rise as it had not in decades. He dared deny my power? '_Dumbledore is dead!_ His body decays in the marble tomb in the grounds of this castle, I have seen it, Potter, and he will not return!'

"It went on like this for some time, Potter insulting me, me screaming out my greatest acts of evil like a madman. I did not listen to the last of it due to my frustration, but it was something about the Elder Wand. I grew tired of his voice and fired my Killing Curse at him, and at the same time he shot a Disarming Charm at me. Two lights hit me in the chest, and for a moment I heard the reactions of everyone. I was flying, but I was not in my body. I was dead. Albus Dumbledore was waiting for me when I arrived, and with him was Merope. I think they must have been planning something. What was that plan, Albus?"

He laughed a lighthearted laugh. "My plan was to make you see what you had done, Tom. I think I did quite well, as far as my plans go. But the second plan I've yet to explain..."

"Yes. How is it that I can live again?"

"I suppose I shall tell you, Tom. But I have to ask you a few things first..."


	32. Part 3: Risen

**This is probably the last chapter of ATWR. I sincerely hope you enjoy it, and that you'll review and perhaps read my other stories. I hope the ending satisfies. **

**This is dedicated to a few people: My consistant reviewers (**Fantasyfan4ever, the good dr.,  
Conversation Hearts.), **the people at the forums I Mod, and anyone who has read. Special thanks to my BEST FRIEND FOR THE IDEA!**

Chapter 32- Rebirth

"Ask away," I told Albus, eager to hear his thoughts.

"What are your thoughts on your actions at the moment?"

There was no reason for dihonesty; lying was not my intention after my transition. "I think I made a terrible mistake. Perhaps my life was not the best, but killing should not have been a compensation. I was not even action like a human, and for that I am truly sorry. I lived for all the wrong reasons. If I could take it back, I would. But the past never disappears, does it?"

He shook his head. "No. There is not. Tom, what if I told you that I could change all that happened, but the others still had to die? I offer you a new beginning, but there are still lives that shall be lost."

"I would not take your offer, Albus. What were you going to do? Let thousands of innocents die so that one guilty man might live?"

"No. I was testing you. You made the right choice. What I shall do, is make it so that you can be forgiven, and then be reborn. Only then can you truly live. I shall remove from your memory all concepts that make you unclean. This includes many memories, concepts, and most of your knowledge. Will you sacrifice these things?"

"Of course."

"Then it shall be done. Hold still."

He placed his hands atop my head and spoke under his breath. I saw all my past, all I knew, all thoughts and feelings, swirling in my mind. And then, as quickly as these things had risen, they began to disappear. I felt him move away, and I saw him doing the same thing to the others. I felt myself slipping away, but it was not like the sensation of dying. It was like slipping into a dream.

"Tom, we're going to pick out a dress for Merope's wedding. Do you want to come with us?"

There came a sense that some horrible thing had happened to my mother in the past, but I pushed that out of my mind. She was well, and nearly glowing since my father had proposed to her. Why, then, did the feelings of terrible events and ideas come into my mind? Perhaps Albus would know; he knew some of everything.

"Actually, I had to go ask Albus something today. But wish her luck for me, will you? And send her my love." Lily nodded, and her and Bella skipped away. I went to find Albus.

"Ah, Tom. I've been expecting you. What do you need, dear boy?"

"I was hoping you could give me an answer to a question. I keep on feeling as if something horrible has happened in my past, but there is nothing I can remember. Why is this?"

He sighed. "Something did happen. Many things happened, most of them to you. But your wife Bella, your best friends, your parents were involved. In your old life, your best friends were enemies to you, your parents lived not, and Bella was merely a servant to you. I was your foe as well, so much an enemy that I was killed by your people."

He told me all about my life, and I was stunned at the least. "How could I have been so terrible? Why didn't you tell me about these things? Why didn't you put an end to me earlier?"

"Why? Because I knew that we would be in paradise one day, and because I knew that you had your reasons. Perhaps you were more severe than I would have hoped, but things went how they were meant to be. You and I both had to suffer to get here and be the men we are today. As the saying goes: the only way to Heaven is through hell's gates."

"But what shall I do now that I know my true nature?"

"That is no longer your nature, Tom. It left you when you died. Live as if you do not know, appreciate that things have changed, and find a way to warn Muggles and wizards, in case another like yourself comes. They live not. We are living almost a century before any of you are born. We cannot live again, but we can warn ourselves so that we may live differently in case we die. Will you write them a warning?"

"Yes."

I sat for some time at the desk, writing my history so that the world could be warned of evil. I changed the names of people and places so that no one would be bothered. Time was nothing where we were. The thing I wrote would appear before and after I was born, and things would change. They would read my story, and perhaps work harder to make the world a better place. And evil would not be my destiny. It never had been. My destiny had been to warn all the world and hope that they would change their ways. I had friends, a family, love, and a purpose. That was enough. We had our ups and downs, but we lived through all of it. Lord Voldemort was never to exist, but Tom Riddle would live forever...

I hope this has been effective. I don't think I've seen many Muggle murderers dying, but I may not see all that passes through this land. So, dear readers, pass this on to your friends after you read, and be sure to take extra care. I hope that I shall meet you at the appropriate time, and no earlier.

Signed, Tom Marvolo Riddle.


End file.
